Flying Paper Planes

The Weather Outside is Weather

2010-12-13T05:23:00.000-08:00

Best part of being on the school's schedule: snow days!! Ah yes, I was free to sleep this morning knowing I would not get a call before 8 am asking me to come in to work. And it felt wonderful!

Yes, I know I've been totally MIA for the past month or so. In my defense, I've been busy. I finally started getting called in to sub, which is keeping me all kinds of occupied. My first day was the Thursday before last, and with the exception of today and this past Thursday, I've been called in every day. Huzzah! And I also started up at Java on Main, the new coffeeshop in Princeton. I started on Thursday and am scheduled to work that day every week, although this week Tina asked me to work Tuesday instead. It's great being back behind an espresso machine, which is, after all, my natural habitat.

I've also spent a lot of time reading, which is one of the perks of substitute teaching. Yay getting paid to read! I just finished reading East, West by Salman Rushdie, which is a collection of short stories about Eastern and Western culture and the how they intersect. I also read The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway, who I have completely fallen in love with. I officially want to go to Spain and take part in the bull fighting fiesta. I picked up a copy of Bobby Kennedy's book Thirteen Days, which is his memoir on the Cuban Missile Crisis. It's a quick, interesting read.

And my frequent stops at Family Video have started up again. I used to go there once a week when I was in high school, but I stopped going in for a while there. Since I have an unending list of movies I have been dying to see, I figured it was high time I started working on it. There is, naturally, another reason I started going into FV so much, but my creepiness is not what we are discussing here, people. Anyway, I've been able to see some good ones. I re-watched Whatever Works and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, both of which I had watched as inflight movies last year. I rented The Extra Man, with Kevin Kline and Paul Dano, but didn't actually make it all the way through. A Single Man is one I could watch and re-watch a million times. Visually stunning, starring Colin Firth, set in the 1960s. Yes, Tom Ford, yes on all counts.

Other than that, I've been hanging with friends a lot. Reconnecting with high school pals, spending evenings at Fitzgeralds with the Princeton gang, getting to see the crew in Peoria more often. On Friday I had what can only be described as a great cross section of my social life since being home. Despite there being no Andy and Katie at the bar (sadly), it was a lot of fun. I was there with friends from high school (starting at 4:30, although I didn't drink more than two all night), Garv and Whitlock showed up, and I randomly bumped into Devin (which is sort of the only way I ever see him). But it was funny being up at my fave bar with my old friends, the people I've hung with for the past few years, and then someone I've recently started kicking it with more.

Granola Crisps

2010-11-18T05:47:00.000-08:00

Sometimes in life, you find a food so magnificent you can't imagine how you lived without it. This is what happened when I stumbled upon Yogi's new Granola Crisps in Wal-Mart recently. Lured in by the "Fresh Strawberry" flavor and promise of all natural deliciousness, I figured I'd shell out the couple bucks to give it a shot. And I am so glad I did.

I am a huge snacker. Large meals and I don't get along, but I can slowly eat my way through a whole bag of ravioli in one day. So, in my quest to eat better, I have to keep easy, grab-and-go type stuff around to keep my hands out of the chocolate chip bag. These granola crisps are perfect for that! They kind of have the consistency of thick frosted flakes, with all these fantastic whole grains and seeds. But they are sweet (I've had both the strawberry and blueberry flavor, and hear the cinnamon raisin is great too) without being sugary. And the ingredient list is not only remarkably short (with special explanations of what the grains are), it isn't just a never ending list of chemicals! Hurrah for actual food!

I'm telling you, a handful of these and a chai hot chocolate make the best start to the day ever!

One Month Mark

2010-11-16T10:10:00.000-08:00

Today is officially one month that I've been home. Yep, it's only been one month. Somehow it feels like it has been so much longer! I've been thinking a lot today about what I've done in the past four weeks, and the overwhelming feeling is that, while things haven't all gone exactly as I thought they would, I'm still so glad I am here!

Sure, getting registered as a substitute teacher turned out to be a total pain in the ass -- please, Lord, let me get that certificate this week! -- and fewer restaurants than I thought are actually hiring. But all of that feels very, very small compared to everything I've been able to do. Like, send in my application for grad school (still have to edit my writing sample -- stupid Mom's computer), or spend a lot of time with my friends, or have the comfort of curling up in the Big Bed with Mom and Margaret to watch Dancing with the Stars. Getting to see my dog whenever I want, getting to see my lovely ladies at the drop of a hat, getting to gorge myself on Oriental Gardens multiple times in one day -- these things are what I am all about.

Plus, there is the fantastic feeling of freedom that I thought would subside after a while, but honestly hasn't. I can change my mind three times in one day about what I want to do after I get my Masters and it doesn't matter at all. Maybe I want to get my Ph.D., maybe I want to get a second Masters at a school overseas, maybe I want to teach English in a third world country, maybe I want to work at the UN or the CIA or the State Dept. It's all wide open, and the only person I have to make happy or accomodate is me. And Snicket and Draper, but they are really surprisingly easy to please if you give them adequate food and cuddle time.

I have the joy of feeling like anything could happen, which is a feeling I absolutely love. I could move to New York, have some fantastic diplomatic style job, and meet a Ted Mosby. I could live in Virginia, in some cute small town, and be an analyst. I could fulfill what I'm sure is my destiny of meeting and falling in (reciprocated) love with a Kennedy. I could go overseas and be that quirky American girl everyone finds a little strange, but very charming all the same. The possibilities are endless, and I positively love it!

I'm Totally a Bridget

2010-11-15T14:57:00.000-08:00

When I was in high school, I read Bridget Jones' Diary. I also loved the movie, but who wouldn't with the pleasure of admiring Colin Firth? After high school, I forgot about the book and let it live on my bookshelves for years. Then, on returning to Illinois and unpacking my books, I decided it was high time I re-read it, as I now have far more experience with breakups and hookups and waiting by the phone for texts and phonecalls than I did at age 15.

The thing about Bridget Jones' Diary is that, as is the case I'm sure for all women, when you read it you can't help but think, "Good God, I would totally do that" or "That is exactly what runs through my mind!" Particularly at this stage of the game, I can relate to the friends who willingly feast on junk food and alcohol with you, more than willingly bashing on whatever guy has driven you nearly off the deep end and offering up advice and guidance as needed. I think, more than anything, that's what made me smile the most, besides Bridget's own neurotic thought cycle, with which I can all too easily identify. The dynamic between Bridget, Shazzer, and Jude reminds me very much of my own relationship with co-best friends, Kim and Helen, with the married and rational Magda being a very fitting stand-in for Katie.

And of course, would positively love to have someone like Mark Darcy fall in love with my quirky and sometimes off center self. Especially since he is played by Colin Firth in the movie. As I often say, that man can wear the hell out of a sweater.

2010-11-09T06:33:00.000-08:00

While watching NatGeo's awesome show Inside the State Department, I started contemplating my own career. And while doing so, I had the most fantastic realization. If everything goes as planned, I will have my Masters degree before my 25th birthday (by like three months). If I'm able to get a job lined up and start at least around my 25th birthday, I could seriously put in ten years at one place and still only be 35. The idea of having two degrees and ten years working under my belt before I'm 35 is seriously so exciting, especially since a few months ago I didn't even think I'd be starting my Masters until I was at least 25. Love, love, love this exhilaration!

Christmas

2010-11-08T11:55:00.001-08:00

Feeling particularly proud of myself for already starting my Christmas shopping. Granted, all I've managed to get so far is a few stocking-stuffer type things and something for my mom, but I also have ideas for other people. And I bought some Christmas cards a few months ago (on sale from Hammerpress). It's a start at least!

I'm oddly excited for Christmas this year. I mean, I get amped every year because I love holidays dedicated to celebrating the people in your life, and Christmas/New Years is perfect for that! And after the past couple months I've had, and the endless support my people have given me in my hour of need, I can't wait to have a chance to just enjoy them! As if that's not what my life has been about since I've moved home, but still! Haha! Not to mention the lovely Gronli baby that will very shortly be in the picture, making it not totally crazy for me to fawn over all the adorable infant things in stores. THAT is something worth being excited about!

Anyway, this holiday season I feel free to fawn not only over baby things, but also over my loved ones. Between Ugly Sweater, a rumored Peoria dinner party, and a proposed potluck there will be nothing but chances to get drunk and sentimental with a wide array of the people I adore. And since I'm not jetting overseas or heading across country, I'll be able to fit in time with anyone else I need to see over the holidays! This time of year is about surrounding yourself with the wonderful people in your life, and I plan on doing just that! And then providing them with sweets on which to gorge themselves, as is also mandatory this time of year.

The Most Marshmallow Time of the Year

2010-11-03T07:46:00.000-07:00

Yay! It's officially marshmallow making season! And since I'm not busy planting trees in Kenya this year, I will be free to experiment with flavors until it's time to start churning out batches for my pals. Also on the list to make (and possibly hand out) this year: various caramels, brittles, shortbread cookies, and truffles!

Another Halloween Gone By

2010-11-01T09:04:00.000-07:00

Oh, Halloween. I miss you already! It's by far my favorite holiday for a multitude of reasons, although this year I didn't get to enjoy the fabulous month of October too much. The whole moving in the middle of it kind of messed with me. But this year, the holiday weekend did not fall short of my expectations!

Even when I feel as dismally dark as possible about The Ex and as self pitying as a girl possibly can, all I need to do is think about all the fantastic people I was able to meet through him and I feel instantly better. Regardless of what happened between us, the friends I've made and people I've met through The Ex are just so wonderful, so fun, and so interesting that I can't help but feel like that makes all the hurt worth it.

This weekend was largely about that feeling. On Saturday I went to Rockford for the Gronlis' Halloween Bash. As always, it was amazing. I just love spending time with the Rockford crew! Getting up there more often is a definite priority now that I'm back in Illinois. On Sunday, I met up with Andy and Katie to see Rocky Horror! Festival 56, bearer of all great things in Princeton, did a midnight showing on Saturday (which I missed) and then a second one on Halloween. For being shown in Princeton, they busted it out on the audience participation, which I was not expecting. I love that about the Festival -- they don't water things down to make it more agreeable with P-town.

Anywho, although I spent a good chunk of time bitching and moaning (thanks for humoring me, Cheryl!) I also enjoyed the companionship that came with Ben, although I did so far more quietly. As is probably obvious, my friendships mean so, so, so much to me, and it makes this cheesepuff so happy to spend time with people who, in the past 2.5 years, have come to mean the world to her!

A Day in my Neighborhood

2010-10-29T06:32:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess you can say that I am now officially, officially home! Not only are Bobby and Jack on full display in my room, but yesterday I went up to Chicago for the first time since I moved out in June. While being back was a little sad (weird being on campus without a class to go to or paper to write) it did feel like being back home. I mean, I spent so much time on campus during my year and a half up there, I'm about as sentimental about DePaul's computer labs as I am about my first apartment.

My day was pretty hectic in terms of trying to see as many people as I could. I didn't get to see everyone I wanted to, but I did get to at least briefly visit with a whole slew of the people I wanted to see most. I got down there earlyish (like 10:30) and went downtown to make an exchange at Forever 21. While there, I got to see a man go coo-coo clock -- yelling at everyone about God knows what -- and also pick up a new journal. (I kept one on and off for the past four years, and decided it's time to start over). Then I went back to DePaul to meet up with a friend I met while taking Arabic last year. He was between classes, so we only had about an hour and a half, but it was so great seeing him! Literally everytime I see him I laugh until my face hurts, which is probably the best trait someone can have!

After that I went back in front of the library (a habitual haunt) and waited for another friend. While waiting, I bumped into a Poli Sci student I had a few classes with last year and have kept in touch with since graduating (thanks, Facebook!). We chatted for a few minutes before my other friend showed up, at which point the two of us went out to Wilmette to see the Baha'i Temple. I had never been, and it was just breathtaking! After walking around there, we went back into Lakeview to meet up with some ladies who were also Political Science graduates last year. We met up at the cutest coffee/tea/delicious sweet things shop, and talked for about an hour and a half before heading back closer to DePaul for their friend's going away party. Since I was driving home, I didn't drink, but I did enjoy some delicious mac and cheese bites. At about ten I started the walk back to DePaul and my car, talking to Helen to keep my paranoid self in check.

The one thing I learned: one day is not enough in Chicago! There was so much I wanted to do -- go to a movie at Landmark, eat a crepe at Le Creperie, visit the Art Institute, sit in on a class -- but didn't have time for. Next time I will not just be "traveling through" as a friend said I was last night. But all in all it was a fantastic day, spent with a whole slew of fantastic people, in what is still one of the most fantastic neighborhoods ever!

Still Got My Rock Moves...

2010-10-26T08:45:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I thought it would be harder to adjust to being single. I thought that after 2.5 years of talking to The Guy every day, once I got back home I would be tempted to fall back into that routine, seeing as how I am a creature of habit. But oddly enough, I'm not really struggling with it at all. The one thing I seem to have forgotten in all of the stress of moving home: I actually enjoy being single. Sure, sometimes you want someone to curl up and watch old scary movies with (*ahem*, something I could go for), but for the most part, I love having the freedom to do what I want when I want, make all the random life decisions I'm faced with by myself, and dream as big as I can for the future. I'm stubborn when it comes to my own aspirations, which is only a problem when I'm in a relationship.

The one thing I am struggling with a little is some anger. Anger about what happened, anger about particular fights and days. In the spirit of neutrality, which I'm trying to maintain out of respect for our mutual friends, I have been running with the, "Things just didn't work out. It is a shame. Anyway..." sort of explainations. But now that I'm home, I don't have to keep the peace. I'm free to start processing everything that happened and sorting it out in my mind, and I'll be honest: it has resulted in a few total rockout sessions to that P!nk song "So What". Add a very angry set of parents to the mix and friends who provide support so solid you could build a house on it, and it's hard to constantly downplay everything that happened.

But, I am trying not to let it all get too much under my skin. Retrospective anger doesn't do anyone any good. The only thing I can do is take it as a lesson learned and move on with a little more wisdom than I had before, and way more clearly defined standards. I'm trying not to let myself become a victim, while also trying to keep myself square with the fact that the rumor mill might eventually churn out a version of events that makes him the victim. Oh the joys of the small town! I know why things ended, the people who matter know, and all I can do is continue to move forward and enjoy the people I have in my life. As my mama always says, the best revenge is a good life.

Oh, and start looking forward to the day I meet a nice Iranian fella. Mom decided a few days ago that it would just be too perfect if I fell in love with an Iranian while doing overseas research. Add Jewish or partially Irish heritage to that equation and I think my heart just melted!

My Move is Officially Complete!

2010-10-25T20:27:00.000-07:00

Ways to identify Bridey's room:

Vintage Remington typewriter on a shelf
More books than the local public library
Posters of: A Bout de Souffle and Annie Hall.
A large, black cat in a canvas bin
Bobby Kennedy framed on the wall

Having my belongings finally here is the biggest relief ever. And the fact that the mover was nice definitely helped the situation. In return for his sense of humor and kindness, we gave him freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.

Other exciting tidbits: I went to my first party as a single girl over the weekend! It was a Halloween Housewarming, to which I wore what I consider "everyday clothes". This was the second time I did so; in '08 I dressed as Audrey Hepburn, in a costume that doubled as what I wore that day. Saturday's costume was a '50s high school student, created by donning a new red cardigan and a black wool circle skirt I am known to wear when the weather is chilly. Fun/awkward moment of the evening: when a very convincing Principal Rooney said, "You like Neutral Milk Hotel? So do I! I also own a lot of cardigans. What a coincidence!"

Also, this week sees my return to Chicago for the first time since graduating. Thursday will be spent kicking it in the Chi, and I'm super pumped! I miss that city so much, and all the lovely people I was lucky enough to meet while living there. While one day is not enough time to see everyone, I'm thrilled to be able to be up there with a few of them at least!

Settling In

2010-10-20T08:29:00.000-07:00

Ah, things are starting to settle into normality. My hair is cut, my cat is out of hiding, and I have a day where I need do no running around. Seeing as how my throat is bugging me, that is probably a good thing. Although my stuff not being here yet makes it all a little difficult (living out of a suitcase is never on my list of things to do), things are still on the up and up, and I'm starting to come out of me "This can't really be happening. I can't really be staying" state of mind.

Now, if you will please excuse me, I have a date with some chai tea.

Feels So Good Feelin' Good Again

2010-10-17T17:34:00.000-07:00

I have literally been waiting to use that Robert Earl Keen lyric. And even after less than 24 hours back in Bureau County, I do feel so good again. It's an amazing weight off my shoulders, although it still hasn't set in that I'm not leaving in a few days. Everything is comforting, from hugging my family to walking the dog to sitting at Oriental Gardens while waiting to have lunch with Katie.

This morning Margaret and I woke up early to go to the local apple orchard (Tanner's) to get apple cider, apples, and apple donuts. I also grabbed a sweet pumpkin for a soup recipe I wanna try. We didn't stay long because it was cold, but we did rock out hard to a Lizzie McGuire CD Mag had in the car. When we got back, I went to Princeton to grab some chai tea, hangers, and cereal and meet up with Katie. Since I had some lag time between post chai run and lunch, I ran over to my dad's to see Draper! I hadn't seen him since July, and seeing that tail start spinning around was so fantastic!

After spending some time over there, I went to meet Katie for lunch. I hadn't seen her since July either, and while there was no tail spinning involved, it was amazing seeing her! We spent a couple hours catching up, then I went back to my dad's to take Draper for a walk. Dad rode his bike over and met us about halfway round the local park, and we walked him the rest of the way back together. We don't get too much time together to just visit, so it was nice to have some time with him!

When we got back we ordered more Oriental Gardens (I have a sickness) and went to my mom's house to carve pumpkins as a family. It was highly enjoyable, and great having everyone together. Then Margaret and I went for a walk around town, came home, and I made some hot chai. Now we are watching Law and Order on the couch.

Today was fantastic. I love being home.

It's Been Real...

2010-10-15T21:13:00.000-07:00

Tonight is my last night in Ridgecrest. It's so hard to even believe this night finally came. Tomorrow, I will be sleeping in my own bed. OK. Fine. I'll probably be sleeping in my mama's bed, because I'm five years old and still like to sleep in The Big Bed as we call it. Regardless of where I finally lay my head after a long day of traveling, it will be in Walnut. And there is no place on Earth I am more thrilled to see.

Sorry, Tehran. You'll be back in the top spot soon. I promise.

The Power of Spin

2010-10-12T06:49:00.000-07:00

Yes, break ups are hard. Yes, it's slightly embarassing that after being so amped for my move to California, I'm now running back to the cornfields as fast as I can. Yes, all of that is true, and while I'm occassionally eaten up by boughts of self-pity (and sit around listening to sad music on Pandora feeling completely sorry for myself), I've been trying to hard to see all of this stuff as a "learning experience" and to look at the impending future in a positive light.

While not always easy, I feel like I've done a fairly good job. After years of movie watching and book reading, I can pretty easily start going all "woe is me" when things don't go as I thought they would. This was particularly true a few years ago, when I felt like my entire life was falling down around me. But since going back to DePaul and getting myself on track, I've found it much easier to keep a positive spin on things. Considering that now I have a college degree, a plan for the future, and the support system I need, it's easy for me to think of the move home not as a failure on anyone's part, but as an opportunity.

I plan to make the most of this window of time. Since I have no intention of dating anyone for a long time (Kim suggested until I get my Masters), I figured I can take this time to get myself all shaped up and squared away. You know, better myself. How? Well, I have a few things I'm going to be doing at home to keep myself busy and moving forward (and off the couch this winter).

One of them is volunteer at the local animal shelter. We have a small operation that runs on volunteers, and it's where I got Draper a few years ago. So, I figured it would be a good way to give back a little, and I love animals. I'm also going to be signing up for yoga at the local natural foods store. I used to take classes at the community college, and have a DVD I do from time to time. But I need to get seroius about doing it, and this is the best way to keep me motivated. I'm going to make an effort to get back to eating healthy (I've been living on a string of sugar the past couple weeks) and to keep reading as ferociously as I have lately. I also want to cut down on the swearing; I have the mouth of a sailor, which I could definitely work on!

And of course, what would a major life change be without a drastic appearance alteration? I'm going to be completely changing my hairstlye, which I'm thrilled about. My hair now is super long, pin straight, and pretty flat. I'm going to be shooting for this look, with a loose perm to get those fabulous curls. Little to say, I cannot wait. Hopefully I'll be getting that done by the end of the month. I was going to wait, but I'm just too excited!

RIP Townsend Coffee Shop

2010-10-06T11:02:00.000-07:00

I recently got final word that Townsend Coffee Shop and Cafe in Princeton is going to be closing this Saturday. I worked at Townsend (and its previous incarnation, Eco Espresso) for a year and a half while living at home, and loved every minute of it. Being a barista was the best job I've ever had. Loved my coworkers, loved what I was doing, loved the regular customers. And it breaks my heart that what quickly became one of my favorite places in Bureau County will be closed. Sure, after moving to the new building and becoming Townsend, Eco did lose something of the charm it had, but it was still my fave.

But now that Princeton is once again going to be without a coffee shop, it got my gears turning on whether or not I would ever want to come back to Bureau County and open one myself. I've always liked the idea of owning a coffee shop, it being the only business I could see myself running successfully. Considering all the other things I want to do with my life, it would happen many years from now, but it is something I've been daydreaming about for the past week or so.

Hardly Strictly Bluegrass 2010

2010-10-05T10:22:00.000-07:00

Fact: I am in love with San Francisco. This past weekend, Ben and I went up for the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival, a music fest put on every year in the Golden Gate Bridge Park. We had been planning on going since before I graduated college, primarily because it was free, the lineup was killer, and both of us really wanted to visit San Francisco. While other trips we were going to go on together were changed, we decided that this one was just better to do together. Neither of us knew the city and both wanted to go.

I'm very glad we did. We got in at about 2 on Thursday afternoon and spent the afternoon wandering around. Our hotel (Casa Loma Hotel on Fell and Filmore) was a "European" style place, with a shared bathroom, and was located right near the cusp of the Castro, Haight Ashbury, and downtown. While getting our bearings on that first day, we ended up walking down down Haight and Market Sts and ended up in the Castro, so we hunted out Harvey Milk's apartment and storefront. We wound from there back towards our hotel, stopping in a park to watch all the dogs playing.

The next day we got up early and walked the opposite-ish direction to City Hall, another stop on my personal Harvey Milk tour. We stopped at a coffeeshop for breakfast, then made the treck to Haight Ashbury, where we had lunch and I (finally) bought a new purse to replace my old one. After a brief stop at the hotel, we went back down Haight to the Golden Gate Park, which is at the very end of the street. After a long, long walk through the park to the area where the festival was actually being held, we parked ourselves in front of one stage. Ben dipped out for a bit to go check out a few other stages, but I stayed with the stuff. Got to see Jenny (Lewis) and Johnny (Rothman) do their set, including a special appearance by Elvis Costello! Stayed for a little of T Bone Burnett's set, but decided we were tired before it ended and wound our way back to the hotel.

The next day we got up early and went straight to the park because a band Ben wanted to see was first up. We stayed in the same spot all day, with few exceptions. Ben did go out and explore a bit for a while, and I ducked straight to the front of the crowd to see Conor Oberst's set. The Felice Brothers were acting as his band, which was phenomenal, and the set was probably the best I've seen from Conor (this was the 4th time I've see him live). We ducked out pretty quick after that, wanting to get food and out of the cold!

The last day we got there early, too, because The Felice Brothers were performing their set first. We both went down to the front, since right after that we were heading to a different stage to set up for Elvis Costello's set, and got to watch as the band set up and did their sound check (and yes, the band does it themselves). They were awesome, and I'm glad we were up front. Elvis Costello's set was later in the day, but it was cool too. Hard because we were super far back, but still awesome to see/hear him play. As my brother said, the man is classic, and won't be playing forever. After that we went and saw Yonder Mountain String Band and part of The Avett Brothers, then left for the day.

Yesterday we woke up a little later and made our way downtown. There we caught the cable cars down to Fisherman's Wharf, where we spent the day walking around. It was pretty touristy, but we did find an old arcade game museum where we dropped a couple quarters to play a few. It was really a fun way to spend the last day there, and we even got to peer across the water and see Alcatraz.

All I know is next year, I will definitely be back for Hardly Strictly. The bands are great, the venue is breathtaking, and the people are amazing. Super friendly, outgoing, and good natured. It was a fantastic experience, and of course, I am hopelessly in love with the beautiful San Francisco.

Relationships in the Age of Facebook

2010-09-28T08:38:00.000-07:00

When it came time to change my relationship status on Facebook this past weekend, I literally found myself thinking, "Ok. Time to go public." It's strange how now life changes feel the most real after they are reflected on your profile. Even if a few people already know what's going on, it still feels like a secret until you've broadcast it to everyone you went to high school with, former co-workers, and fellow students from study abroad.

So true

2010-09-27T08:35:00.000-07:00

"Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh." --W.H. Auden

Things Worth Looking Forward To.

2010-09-24T07:21:00.000-07:00

I talked to my mom yesterday, and we discussed my moving home. It's creeping up oh-so-slowly, but oh-so-surely. There are many reasons why I cannot wait to be back in good old Bureau County, and here are just a few:

The Heing House -- There is a way things are done in my beloved home. We're the kind of family who makes rice and scotcharoos in the morning, watches old movies all day, and generally laugh a lot about random things. I'm looking very forward to being back in the mix!
Chicago -- The nice thing about where we live is that we are only a short train ride away from the city. While I may not have my lovely apartment on Wolfram anymore, I officially know enough about the city to ride the train up in the morning and spend the day putzing around like I used to. I can't wait for that first trip up, going to a movie at Landmark, hanging downtown. And of coures, the impending trips with my sister!
My Buddies -- Cannot wait to be back in the swing of things with my crew back home. Seriously, I feel like part of me is missing when I don't get to see them and hug them and catch up on life with them. I mean, we talk, but it's not the same when you are used to regular check ins.
Weekends with My Dog -- I have made no secret of how much I miss my dog. Draper and Snicket (my cat) are my beebees, and I can't wait to have endless chances to hang with my canine companion. It's been a long time since I've been able to just go see him to my heart's content, so it will be very, very nice.
Working -- Working in Bureau County has been part of my life since I was 16. And I love it. I miss feeling part of the action, knowing people "from work" and having that sense of community. I don't have that in Ridgecrest, and I can't wait to start hustling in BC.

The Ayatollahs' Democracy, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Understand Iran

2010-09-23T10:10:00.000-07:00

Last night I started reading Hooman Majd's new book, The Ayatollahs' Democracy. I had to force myself to put it down and go to sleep, and today all I can think about is getting back home and reading more. As was the case with The Ayatollah Begs to Differ, Majd's first book published in 2008, I am enthralled, even at about 20 pages in. In the very beginning he makes the clear distinction that the Green Movement, the force-to-be-reckoned-with led by Mir Hossein Mousavi, is not a revolutionary group of people looking to overthrow the regime, but rather a civil rights movement. I think that's a clarification often lost here in the US.

As someone from a very small town in the middle of cornfield in the heart of the USA, I've had a lot of people ask me the same question when they find out about my interest in Middle Eastern politics: "How did someone from a place like that get into something like this?" I also suspect there is a reluctance to believe a girl wearing a minidress and a huge smile can really be that fascinated by the Islamic Republic. Well, let me tell ya, it didn't just happen. I was woefully unaware of Iranian politics during high school, besides the Iran-Iraq War, which I often referred to when talking about the US invasion in 2003. When Iran did make it into my line of vision, I was immediately terrified by the nuclear "threat" that was reportedly lurking in Tehran. Ahmadinejad? A total madman, I was sure of it. I even wrote a paper my freshman year delineating the threat a nuclear Iran posed to the world at large. Oh, silly, naive me.

But in 2007 Ahmadinejad was invited to speak at Columbia University in New York. In his introduction, the school representative tore the leader apart, which was really a petty and insulting thing to do, considering they invited him there to begin with. Ahmadinejad held it together, responded with one of his clever sideswipes while keeping that smile on his face, and moved on. I was fascinated. I even found that, well, a lot of what he said there and at the UN made sense. It wasn't all nonsensical babbling about how there was no Holocaust and Israel needed to be destroyed. So, I did my typical Bridey thing: gathered speeches, subscribed to Iranian news sites, and bought any books on Iran the local Walden's Books had in stock.

That's where it started. I dove in at the onset of the Ahmadinejad presidency in 2005. It was a good place to start, now that I look back, because there was a clear shift in policy. From there I read about the Islamic Revolution, about the Iran-Iraq War, about the Rafsanjani, Khamenei, and Khatami presidencies, the nuclear debate -- anything I could get my hands on. Old CIA documents from the 1980s, IAEA reports, transcripts of speeches from both Supreme Leaders. Everytime I learn one thing, I see three more paths down which I need to go to learn even more. And 3 years on, I'm more obsessed than I ever have been. Obsessed enough to want to go there; in fact, when I told my mom I was going to Kenya, she was immediately nervous, and said, "Wouldn't you rather go to, I don't know, Iran?"

When the 2009 election happened, of course, a lot of people decided to jump on the bandwagon. Insert face palm here, please. People who just started at that point are usually totally ignorant of the political situation. They have no context in which to put the opposition movement. They don't know, for example, that Mousavi was Prime Minister and ally of Ayatollah Khomeini, or that he was instrumental in keeping the nuclear program open. They see "opposition" and think "regime change", which are just not interchangeable. My only hope is that, in the near future, people start digging a little deeper in order to understand what the current situation means. Of course, The Ayatollah's Democracy is a great place to start!

Work in Progress

2010-09-22T07:09:00.001-07:00

I've been looking forward to re-making my wardrobe for a long time. You know how it is -- you start growing up, daydreaming about all those fabulous dresses and tops you'll wear while hanging out with your totally awesome friends in cute coffee shops. Well, I recently decided to bite the bullet and start ordering a few things. Granted, I've gone a little overboard. Not that I have buyers remorse -- everything I've ordered are things I've been eyeballing steadily for the past year -- but I will admit I've been using retail therapy to sooth my worried soul. Of course, I don't feel all that bad because I've so far enforced a "Throw Something Out for Everything that Comes In" rule fo my closet, so there's not that much excessive clutter. However, I'm done now. For a long while. Not only did I order the above from Modcloth (just ordered the maxi dress today, despite my assertions yesterday that I am done with getting packages after my adorable sweaterdress comes in a few days) but I cleaned up during their huge sale. Cleaned up as in I got three dresses for less than the price of one of them at full price. Yeah. I'm that awesome. Now, if only I was awesome enough to avoid looking at Modcloth all together...

I Don't Care What You Say Anymore, This is My Life

2010-09-21T13:58:00.000-07:00

So, with recent developments as they are, I've been thinking more and more lately about my future. Things I want to accomplish, things I'd like to do. Stuff like that. Today, I started a list of "Life Goals", and while this list is in no way exhaustive, I think I'm off to an ambitious start:

Get MA in Middle Eastern Studies -- Slight divergence from Political Science
Get 2nd MA or PhD in International Politics -- Or similar. This might allow for that AUP pipe dream to come back from the dead ... for a 15th time.
Conduct research in Iran -- This goes with my first MA. I've been finding out more about the University of Tehran, and would love to do some of my research there!
Backpack across Europe -- And I don't mean Western Europe. I mean start in Istanbul and end in Dublin. It might be the most ambitious thing on the list so far, but I really wanna do it someday.
Write a book -- This has been a goal of mine on and off for nearly a decade. It's just a pipe dream of mine.
Volunteer in Palestinian Territories -- Another long-time pipe dream that might actually not be impossible to realize. I was hoping to do this when I left DePaul after freshmen year, but ended up working at a coffee shop instead.
Visit Oxford U/NYC/Yale U -- Just some places I want to see. I've always wanted to visit Oxford, and Yale is the school I dream about when I'm daydreaming about that fantasy life where I got straight A's in school and a full ride. NYC is just somewhere I've never been but really want to see.
Learn to speak Arabic/Farsi/Russian -- I'm a language nut, and I want to learn all three. Arabic and Russian I can live with just basic competency, but Farsi is one I want to be fluent in. At least I can work on these over time!

Looking Back is Funny

2010-09-21T08:46:00.000-07:00

As I sit here, working at my desk and listening to Nirvana, I can't help but wonder what 16 year old Kurt Cobain obsessed Bridey would think of 22 year old Bridey. It's funny to think that, in the past six years, my beloved "Cobain falling down on stage" poster has been replaced by a Bobby Kennedy reprint, and my religious knowledge of SPIN magazine content has been overshadowed by an intense expertise on Middle Eastern politics. Where I once admired Chuck Klosterman, I know look up to Keith Olbermann. I find it pretty amusing, but I'm pretty sure 16 year old me would be a little aghast at my complete replacement of The Ramones with Old Crow Medicine Show on my iPod, although I may have gotten a kick out of all the Sam Cooke.

Is This Seriously My Life?

2010-09-15T07:03:00.001-07:00

Ugh. The past few days have been nothing but stress and anger. I'm planning a weekend at home between now and November, because staying out here for the next 2 months straight is just going to drive me crazy. I need a few days back in BC just to gather my thoughts, let alone to not go completely off the deep end.

Feeling Blah

2010-09-13T09:25:00.000-07:00

After this past weekend (which was about an even split between totally awesome and totally horrific), I just want to spend the day in Princeton, walking my dog and reading at Soldiers & Sailors Park. I can imagine it now. Long walk and a little picnic with my Drape at the canal, then back to Princeton for a pumpkin spice latte from Townsend and a few hours on a blanket reading and people watching. Autumn is a great time to be in Bureau County, and I'm sad that I'll just barely miss it this year.

2010-09-09T09:46:00.000-07:00

Holy wow. I officially reserved my move today. And yesterday I registered to take the GRE in Peoria in December. All I need now is a shitton of boxes and an airplane ticket.

Since I have that pretty much under control, guess it's time to start flinging together stuff for my grad school applications. Top of the list: University of Illinois. I know who I'm asking for recommendations, know the program I want to get into, all that. Booyah!

I have the strong urge to add a "getting shit done" hashtag to this post.

2010-09-08T11:56:00.000-07:00

“There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same; there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view.”

This quote (via The Curious Case of Benjamin Button) just makes me smile for some reason.

Looking Ahead to November

2010-09-08T07:48:00.001-07:00

Can't believe it's already September. It's seriously freaking me out. Even though Thanksgiving feels like forever away, I know it is going to fly from here on out. This being the case, I've been thinking about when I move home quite a bit lately, like how I hope to be employed and things I want to do.

The first thing on my mind is getting a job. I'm thinking I'll throw my name into the hat at the old coffeeshop I worked at, not for a regular gig but to pick up any shifts they need covered. I'm probably going to try and hook up with a waitressing job, since tips are totally where it's at. On top of that, my mom suggested I register as a substitute teacher, which the district apparently needs desperately. That pays pretty good money, assuming I can get work regularly, and on top of waitressing, I feel like I'd do pretty well. I'm going to live with my mom until I head to school, meaning my living expenses won't be too extravagant. Plus, I don't really go out and do much on a regular basis anyway, so saving until next fall will be not a problem.

There are a few things I want to do though. Things I can't wait to do actually! One of these is go horseback riding. Every Fall I get really into the idea of going; I used to as a kid quite regularly. Hopefully the weather is weird and nice in November, but I might have to wait until Spring to get my hankering conquered. The other thing I'm dying to do is take Draper, my dog, to Wildlife Prairie Park in Peoria. We went all the time when I was younger, but I haven't been in a few years. Draper would love it, and ever since I got him I've been wanting to get him over there for a day.

More than anything, I'm just excited to get back into the swing of life back home. And to get my plan hammered out for next year; that's very exciting, too! It'll feel so good to be back in Bureau County, working and hanging out. Since that has been my life on and off since I was 16, I'm itching to get back to what I know best. Oh, and Oriental Gardens runs with my loves won't be too shabby either!

15 Films

2010-09-07T07:58:00.000-07:00

Harumph. I was sick on Sunday, and still feel a little run down. To kill sometime before starting to actually do work, I'll do this:

1) Annie Hall -- It's my favorite movie of all time. Love the story, the dialogue, and the characters.

2) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind -- It's a classic now. The whole thing is so well done, and even Jim Carrey, who I can't stand usually, melts into the picture perfectly. Loves it.

3) Paradise Now -- It makes me cry like a huge baby every time I watch it. If you haven't seen/heard of it, it's about two Palestinian suicide bombers grappling with the decision whether or not to complete their mission.

4) It's A Wonderful Life -- Such a great movie! It just makes me smile everytime I watch it.

5) Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein -- As a kid, I was pretty morbid, and watched a lot of old monster movies. I also enjoyed Abbott and Costello movies. To this day, Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein is a Halloween must-watch.

6) The Great Mouse Detective -- One of my favorite Disney movies, and an unsung gem from the Disney collection. I was also a very dorky kid who loved (and still loves) Sherlock Holmes, so this rodent re-telling was right up my alley!

7) Che -- When I saw it in theatres, I was lucky enough to see the Roadshow Edition. At about 4 hours long, it was a serious time commitment, and was totally worth it. It's inspirational, touching, and heartbreaking.

8) Where in the World is Osama bin Laden? -- Morgan Spurlock is probably one of my favorite filmmakers. Loved Supersize Me and his short lived TV show 30 Days. But his one man search for Osama made for a movie that was both funny and enlightening, and a fantastic look at the real heart and soul of the Middle East.

9) Nightmare Before Christmas -- No one can top classic Tim Burton (as in pre-Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). I know every word to every song in Nightmare, and still get as giddy every time I watch it as I did when I first saw it.

10) Breakfast at Tiffany's -- What girl doesn't want to be Holly Golightly? For being so iconic, the movie itself still feels underrated. Behind the image of Holly in the black dress is so much more than people give credit for.

11) Moulin Rouge -- It's dazzling, has a great soundtrack, and you notice something new everytime you watch it. Plus, Ewan McGregor is pretty good lookin'.

12) Factory Girl -- It's not the best movie ever made, but the recent Hollywood telling of Edie Sedgwick's meteoric rise to fame was enjoyable, and inspired me to start wearing dark, thick eyeliner and little tiny dresses.

13) What's New, Pussycat? -- Peter O'Toole, Peter Sellers, Woody Allen. It's hilarious, goofy, and well acted. It was the first Allen movie I saw, and still one of the best.

14) Schindler's List -- I once drunkenly declared my love for this movie while at a bar with friends. But it is a really great film, and Liam Neeson ... Well, my love for him is no big secret.

15) Love's Labours Lost -- Don't judge me. Don't even think about it. When I was in about 8th grade I discovered this Kenneth Brannagh masterpiece, based on the Shakespeare play. Set in Europe between the wars, and featuring all kinds of random Cole Porter and the like songs, it's dorky, campy, and endlessly entertaining. I know every word of the dialogue and soundtrack. It's no longer in print, but I was able to score a copy of the DVD on Amazon for pretty cheap a few years back; before that I had to rent it at the local video store, where I was the only one who ever did so.

Loading Up

2010-09-02T10:16:00.000-07:00

Alright, so I know I just posted yesterday about how I got a few books over the weekend, but today I ordered a few more that I cannot wait to get in the mail. So I have a problem wherein I buy a lot of books -- it could be worse! Besides, I'm reading through the ones I got this weekend very quickly (as in I'm done with one and halfway through another already) so I need to keep up!

So, what did I order? Well, I geeked out a bit. I went online with the mission of pre-ordering Hooman Majd's new book, The Ayatollah's Democracy, which comes out this month. I've been dying for this book to come out since I heard about it several months ago. Did that. Amazon recommended the book Reset: Iran, Turkey, and America's Future. Read the first few pages, and can't wait to read the rest. Basically it's about US diplomacy, and how the US would find more natural allies in Iran and Turkey, where democracy has an embedded history, rather than Saudi Arabia and the like. See, it's been a while since I've discovered a really good book about contemporary Iran. The last one I read was All the Shah's Men, which is about the 1953 Operation Ajax, the CIA coup against Prime Minister Mossadegh. It was really good, but his random assertions about modern Iran were pretty poorly delivered. Anywho, since it's been a while, I'm really excited I have those two coming.

I also ordered The Complete Stories of Evelyn Waugh, which is one of his books that's hard to come by in stores. Waugh wrote in Great Britain right around WWII, about the aristocractic class. His satire is amazing, and his books usually leave me laughing out loud. He definitely wrote for the time period, meaning sometimes it's hard to make out exactly what he's talking about between cultural references and different places around London, but once you get into the flow, it's hysterically funny. Since he's kind of obscure now, most stores carry just a few of his books, all of which I own. I'm pretty thrilled to be getting one I haven't even seen before!

To Occupy me 'til Lunch

2010-09-01T09:49:00.000-07:00

Four Jobs I’ve Had
1. Cashier at Walnut Family Foods
2. Waitress at the Coffee Cup
3. Barista at Eco Espresso/Townsend
4. Intern with ITCO

Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over Again
1. Annie Hall, because Woody Allen is a genius
2. In The Loop, because I hope to one day work in that exact environment (does it exist?)
3. Nightmare Before Christmas, because no one can top classic Tim Burton
4. It's A Wonderful Life, or any Frank Capra movie for that matter.

Four TV Shows I Love to Watch
1. Mad Men, because I am classy and sophisticated
2. True Blood, which is an anamoly because I don't like other sci-fi type stuff
3. Big Love, which has shaped my perception of Mormons
4. Countdown with Keith Olbermann, because I'm a stereotype.

Four Places I've Been on Vacation
1. Australia
2. Paris
3. Kenya
4. New Zealand

Four Favorite Dishes
1. Beef Teriyaki from Oriental Gardens
2. Chicken Bacon Cheese, which is as heavenly as it sounds
3. Meringue cookies, they totally count
4. Chilli, with no onions.

Four Websites I Visit Daily
1. www.foreignpolicy.com to check headlines
2. www.modcloth.com to torture myself
3. www.blogger.com to waste time
4. www.facebook.com/www.twitter.com to keep up with my babies.

Four Places I'd Rather Be
1. Bureau County, because home is where you are happy.
2. The corner of Diversey and Clark, heading to a movie at Landmark after browsing at Borders and eating a nutella and strawberry crepe at Le Creperie.
3. In Paris, getting out of my first class of the day (pipedreams never die.)
4. At the apartment, cuddling with my cat, or at home, cuddling with my dog.

Four Books You Love
1. Evelyn Waugh's "Decline and Fall" or "Put Out More Flags". I laugh out loud.
2. Kerouac's "Maggie Cassidy". I love the books about his childhood.
3. Hooman Majd's "The Ayatollah Begs to Differ". A very real, very enlightening look at Iran.
4. Fitzgerald's "The Lees of Happiness". It makes me sob everytime.

TWO YEARS AGO, I...
1. Was still going to IVCC
2. Had just started working at Eco Espresso
3. Still had no clue what I was doing with my life.

ONE YEAR AGO, I...
1. Was starting my senior year of college (so much changes in a year!)
2. Had my own apartment in Lincoln Park
3. Felt 100% at peace with my life for the first time in way too long.

THIS YEAR, I...
1. Graduated college
2. But not before writing a LOT of papers on Iran.
3. Experienced the kind of broke that leads people to be successful writers and artists.

SIX MONTHS AGO, I...
1. Was knee high in Chicago crappy Spring
2. Was trying to figure out what to do after Graduation
3. Still had 3 months left of college.

YESTERDAY, I...
1. Watched Teen Mom. Stop judging me.
2. Contemplated the War in Iraq.
3. Got a haircut.

TODAY, I...
1. Was running late.
2. Worked on a report for work.
3. Am going to call Katie!

NEXT YEAR, I HOPE TO...
1. Move home and find a job (what up, waitressing?!)
2. Enjoy the time I have with my friends and family before going back to school.
3. Find a great program at a great school and get into it!

THREE ITEMS I HAVE BRAND-LOYALTY TO ARE...
1. H&M
2. Baked Ruffles
3. Naked smoothies

THREE SONGS I KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO ARE...
1. "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel. And Kim and I have a dance to it, too. No joke.
2. "New Virginia Creeper" by Old Crow. I know all their songs, actually, but that one's fun.
3. "Midnight Train to Georgia" by Gladys Knight and the Pips. I can belt that one out like no other.

TOP THREE LOCATIONS I'D LIKE TO RUN AWAY TO ARE...
1. Bureau County.
2. France.
3. The apartment (just to get away from work.)

FIRST THREE PEOPLE I THINK ABOUT ON A DAILY BASIS ARE...
1. Kim/Helen/Katie. My beloved babies.
2. My family, who I miss immensely.
3. Draper, who I also miss immensely and is also a beloved baby. Except not, cause he's a 5 year old dog.

I'm Too Good at Changing Direction

2010-09-01T09:16:00.000-07:00

Been a while since I've really updated on my life. Honestly, I've mostly been posting while bored at work (productive?), so they haven't been too awesome. Whatever.

Anyway, life update. Where do I even begin? Basically, everything has changed once again. Yes, I've only been in Ridgecrest for about two months or so, but this town is not for me. At all. And working for the Defense Department? Not so much up my alley either (surprise, surprise, right?). So, what am I doing? Moving home, of course! Around Thanksgiving I'm going to be heading back to Bureau County. And in the fall, I'm going to be going to grad school. Not in France, but still! I'm pretty pumped. Turns out any "I'm sick of school" feelings were only end of the year stress, and after being out for two months, I cannot wait to get back to writing papers and doing research. I'm checking out programs primarily in Illinois, because I'm not feeling this whole not being a train ride away from my beloved people thing. My mom was laughing when I told her that -- "You can go to Africa and Paris and want to go to the Middle East, but you just HAVE to drive Main Street in Princeton. Gotta cruise through Walnut." It does sound ridiculous, but I'm still pretty young (22 for one month today) and I'm not ashamed of how connected I am with home. In fact, I'm kind of proud of it.

Anyway, back to the whole grad school thing. I'm kind of torn between doing a MA in Middle Eastern Studies or Political Science. U of I is an affiliate with the American Institute of Iranian Studies, an organization that provides grants and things to learn Farsi (YESPLEASE), and they have a program where I could write my dissertation and do research on Iranian politics and political identity. It seems like it will be harder to find a Poli Sci program that will allow me to focus that much on one country. I mean, I could always do a Middle Eastern Studies MA now, and if I want to I could do a second one in International Politics or something like that. And honestly, at this point, doing two Masters doesn't sound that intimidating to me. I love school; why not then? Besides, in the Poli Sci world, degrees are currency, so the more I can get under my belt while this wave of academia sweeps over me, the better.

Of course, this does mean Ben and I will be long distance again. It also mean postponing the wedding. I'm not focusing on that stuff, though, because what's important at this juncture in my life is doing what I need to do to fulfill my goals. We did long distance once, we can do it again. Besides, it seems like it will be better for us to be apart a while longer.

Other news? Well, I went shopping last weekend with Lisa. Ben and Steve came later on, which was cool. We went to Barnes & Noble, and I got a couple books. It's been a while since I bought any books, so I was definitely in need of new reading material. I picked up Breakfast at Tiffany's by Truman Capote, which I read in two days. It made me cry; awesome story. I also got A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway, which is about his time in Paris as a young man. According to Ben no one LIKES Hemingway, but I do. I also picked up a little collection of Anton Chekhov's short stories, which I'm excited to read. One thing about my reading habits that's really unfortunate is that my favorite fiction writers are all dead, making it frustrating when you finish reading someone's body of work. This happened with Fitzgerald way too quickly. When they put out And the Hippos were Boiled in their Tanks I was beyond excited, because I'm inching closer and closer to the end of Kerouac's writings (a sad, sad, sad fact). So I'm trying to branch out into my favorite writers' contemporaries, or similar genres. Hence the Hemingway. I haven't read many Russian novels before, but I do have a Dostoevsky and a couple books by Nabokov, all of which I love.

This was really long, and I plan on posting a survey (to kill more time) in a second. Sorry for all the chatter!

It's Been a Long Time Comin'...

2010-08-31T07:28:00.000-07:00

Happy Independence Day, Iraq! Hopefully this really is a "New Dawn" for the country.

2010-08-27T09:48:00.000-07:00

This picture sort of sums up how I'm feeling these days.

Gerenuk

2010-08-25T12:13:00.001-07:00

Want. Want. Want. A Gerenuk would make the perfect companion for Snicket and Draper. Please send me one post-haste.

Long Weekend Love

2010-08-19T12:46:00.000-07:00

Ahhh, finally almost the weekend! Three days of bliss, my friends. Three days of bliss. What are my plans for the weekend? Well, hopefully laying low. Ben and I are going to look at a few houses this afternoon, but other than that I don't have much planned. Ben will be gone all day Saturday, meaning I get a day to myself at the apartment. My hope is that I will be equal parts productive and lazy. Hopefully I can get in a skype date with my beloved Katie. I might paint my dresser (if I can decide what colors I want to use) and am thinking I might rent a movie. Probably a movie Ben wouldn't want to sit through. I'm also poking around to see if there are any recipes I would want to try making, since I'm only cooking for me that night. Might be fun to try something new! On Sunday, I'm going to suggest Ben and I try making the lasagna cupcake recipe I found this week -- I'm dying to give it a shot!

Anna

2010-08-18T11:23:00.001-07:00

A lovely lady I adore is Anna Karina, who was an actress in a number of French nouvelle vague films in the 1960's. Leading lady and love interest of director Jean-Luc Godard, she's too beautiful for words! And a wonderful actress to boot. She starred in my favorite Godard film, Une Femme est une Femme (see picture below). That movie is, in fact, where I got the quote tattooed around my upper arm from.

She also appeared, as in Une Femme est une Femme, alongside one of my favorite leading men of the era: Jean-Paul Belmondo (seen below). A dynamic film duo if ever there was one! And not too hard on the eyes, either!

Well, That's Embarrassing...

2010-08-17T14:51:00.000-07:00

I stumbled on a bunch of Courage Wolf pictures today at work...

It's really unfortunate how often I see those in public. Every time I laugh hysterically, regardless of location or appropriateness of said laughter.

Not-Exactly-Guilty Pleasure

2010-08-17T08:07:00.001-07:00

Bridey fun fact: I love writing cards. I'm not one of those "Dear So&So, [insert Hallmark greeting here]. Love, X" kind of people. Oh no. When I write someone a card, I fill the whole inside/back/front/whatever with words. I love blank cards for that reason -- nothing to get in my way. When someone has something coming up, I will think about what I should write for at least a couple days before sitting down and actually doing it. And I love every minute of it.

So, with my love for writing notes comes a love for awesome stationery. I have a box at home that I'm slowly filling with greeting cards, thank you cards, and postcards so that I can always be ready to send a note when needed. Today I gave into my temptation a little more than usual and ordered a couple "congrats on the baby" cards (which was the original plan) from Felt & Wire and two box sets of Christmas flatnotes from Hammerpress. While it was not my intention to flood the house with packages of cards, I decided to give in a little bit. Plus, might as well start thinking about Christmas now; if there is one thing I've learned, it's that good Christmas cards are always sold out if you wait too long.

Groupon

2010-08-13T10:10:00.001-07:00

Words cannot describe my love for Groupon. The basic idea is that a deep discount is offered everyday, and if enough people pledge to buy in, the deal is "on", meaning your card gets charged and you get the coupon. Usually places will offer other specials for people using a Groupon; for example, when I redeemed one for 2 lbs of coffee at a local coffeeshop last year, they also gave me a free cup of coffee everyday for the entire month. Most are at least 50% off, in the form of "$5 for $10 at X restaurant". Sometimes it covers the entire bill (like going to lunch alone) or other times it just counts towards that much off your bill. It's really an awesome deal, and they get a lot of random local, independent places that you probably wouldn't check out otherwise.

I started using the site when I was living in Chicago so that I could make my money stretch a little farther. This past week I started getting back on the site because, while Ridgecrest doesn't have a Groupon site and probably never will, Ben and I have impending trips to cities that do. Most Groupons last for about 6 months, so I've been trying to keep an eye on places like Los Angeles and Las Vegas, because we will definitely be ending up there a few times between now and February. I also scored a couple great ones for places in San Francisco, for our upcoming long weekend trip to the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival.

The best part: I currently have about $120 worth of Groupons sitting in my little folder. The total cost? $58. And while we could have saved the same amount of money going to other places, the fact that we now get to check out some of the local flair that we otherwise might not have even known about it pretty exciting! If you haven't checked out the site yet, definitely do! They have a ton of different cities, and a ton of awesome offers!

Hardly Strictly 2010

2010-08-11T10:39:00.000-07:00

For a brief time, I was sad I had to miss Lollapalooza this year. However, that sadness was no more as soon as I saw the lineup for the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival! Ben and I are heading up to San Francisco for the weekend (Oct 1-3) to take part in this awesome and free music festival, which happens to be featuring some of my favorite artists! Really? I get to see The Avett Brothers, The Felice Brothers, Conor Oberst, and Elvis Costello, among others, for free? Does it get any better?

Sorry, Lolla, but this (partial) lineup totally kills yours this year!

Mad Men

2010-08-05T13:27:00.001-07:00

GASP! I just realized I haven't posted a blog about the new season of Mad Men, which premiered on July 25th! With the season two episodes in, I can already see it's going to be a tense and interesting season. So much is going on already! It's amazing to see how Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce (the firm which was started on the Season 3 finale) is working, and how Peggy is really coming into her own! She's such a great character. Betty, of course, is still a total bitch. What's with still living in Don's house? Having Joan back in the fold is wonderful! She's so fabulous -- and can lead a congo line like no one's business! And did anyone else feel really bad for Roger last episode? Lee Garner Jr giving him such a hard time made my heartbreak.

But by far the hardest thing to see this season is Don. He's so . . . so . . . lonely. Seeing my beloved Don Draper like that -- with a call girl, not being able to seal the deal with a young actress, sleeping with his secretary, is very emotional. He's clearly not doing the best after the divorce, and I'm excited/nervous to see where this season takes him. I feel like it can only go up from here, but we'll see.

So, let us remember Don as the suave, sexy fella we all know he is deep down!

(Also, this hook up would answer my deepest hopes and dreams! America hasn't ever seen a couple this good looking!)

Carrie

2010-08-05T09:26:00.001-07:00

The movie may be . . . well . . . you know. But what girl wouldn't kill for Carrie Bradshaw's life? Seriously, those clothes, that job, that apartment -- what wouldn't I give? (Lucky for me, I already have the friends!)

Annie Hall

2010-08-05T09:21:00.001-07:00

Annie Hall is my favorite movie of all time, and this still from shooting makes me smile.

Charlotte

2010-08-05T09:20:00.000-07:00

And Charlotte Gainsbourg is just too beautiful and too cool for words.

Audrey

2010-08-05T09:18:00.000-07:00

Any girl who doesn't aspire to be more like Audrey is of questionable moral character.

Couple Inspiration

2010-08-04T10:15:00.000-07:00

I love Brad and Angelina. Not only are they beautiful, but I think of them as a wonderful example of a couple. I think everyone was a little awkward about the idea of all American Brad Pitt joining forces with wild child turned humanitarian Angelina Jolie at first, but they are really wonderful together, despite what the tabloids constantly scream. They seem like their own little club, together with their swarm of children, and that's something I think is great in couples. Angelina, despite being a mother of like 15 and significant other to one of the world's most beloved actors, is still Angelina -- still tattooed, sexy, and a little dangerous. I love that she has created a prototype for a woman who is caring, motherly, and still her own person.

Momentary Relapse

2010-08-03T14:00:00.000-07:00

I know I said I was giving up on my Zooey inspired hopes, but . . . well, a girl can dream, can't she?

Time to Face the Music

2010-08-03T09:01:00.000-07:00

Sigh. Now that I'm 22, I need to face reality. I've spent the past 3 years growing out and attempting to style my hair, and it just hasn't been working. So, it's time to face the fact that I am never going to wake up in the morning with gorgeous, thick locks a la Zooey Deschanel. My bangs don't want to behave like that, and I need to accept it. Time to come up with a new hairstyle icon, and I think I've found just the one.

That's right. Rory Gilmore. My hair likes to behave more like her's on its own, and I feel like her style would suit my fine hair better. My cut is similar as it is, but I need to get it touched up and layered a little differently.

Time for me to suck it up and accept that I am not a hip indie chick who plays a ukelele. I'm an awkward bookworm who daydreams about going to an Ivy League graduate school and negotiating rapprochements between countries. And ya know what, that's okay. Rory Gilmore proves that we awkward dark haired fair skinned girls who started reading at a college level before leaving grade school are just as wonderful as girls who learned how to play a bass guitar. So there!

And rocking the Rory look will definitely work out well with my plan to pretend I'm living on the East Coast until Ben finally agrees to move to New England. It's only a matter of time . . .

The Start of Year 22

2010-08-02T07:15:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday was my birthday! When Ben asked me last week what I wanted to do for the day, I said that I wanted to do nothing. I just wanted to be totally lazy and watch TV and eat junk food. And that is exactly what we did! After sleeping in, Ben went out to work on the Explorer for a little bit while I talked to my mom, dad, and eventually Ben's mom. At noon he called it a day, and we popped in the first season of True Blood, which Ben had gotten me and had yet to see all of. My other wonderful gift: not one, but two keffiyahs! One is just black and white, which is the Palestinian scarf, and the other is a British military issue one that has been in use since before WWII and was widely adopted throughout the region. SO excited!

Anyway, we spent the whole afternoon doing absolutely nothing, which was fabulous. I made Kenyan food for dinner, and a strawberry Jello pie, which we ate half of within about twenty minutes. After the new episodes of True Blood and Mad Men, we lounged for another half hour and called it a night! All in all, a fabulous birthday!

21 was exciting -- I went to Africa, got engaged, graduated college, got a job, and moved to California -- and I can't wait to see how 22 turns out!

It's Seriously A Bad Idea

2010-07-31T14:23:00.000-07:00

Hey all! So, I'm trying to get the word out about H. Res 1553, which is a resolution recently proposed by the Republican party (who else?). Basically, it states that the US will support any action taken by Israel against Iran, including a pre-emptive military strike.

There are numerous reasons why this is a bad, bad, bad idea. Israel has been looking for a way to launch a strike against Iran for some time, going so far as to ask for the codes necessary to fly over Iraq. Bush didn't allow it, thank goodness, despite his obnoxious fear-mongering on the topic. If this bill gets passed, Israel would have a green light to launch a strike, which would be horrible.

Why? Well, not only would it most likely draw the US into another war in the Middle East that will be impossible to actually win, but it will have damning affects in Iran itself. Not only will there be numerous casualties, but it will send the nuclear program underground, allowing for zero IAEA oversight. It would undermine all the reform and opposition movements currently active, as well as provide the more hardline elements of the government with a huge boost in support. Israel launching an attack would be playing right into their game, providing them with all kinds of legitimacy. I've read a few places that the first troops on Iranian soil will turn everyone into a nationalist, and it's true. Iran is not Iraq, and Iran is not Afghanistan. We will not be liberators in any sense of the word.

Please, please, please add your voice to those calling out against H. Res 1553, which is nothing more than a political stunt meant to boost Republican results in the mid-term elections. It is a HUGE mistake, and will be of unimaginable consequence for US security and any hope of moving forward diplomatically with Iran. Visit the NIAC website to add your name!

Missing W. Wolfram

2010-07-29T10:41:00.000-07:00

This nostalgic panda is seriously missing her beloved Lincoln Park and her slightly shabby studio.

Felt & Wire Shop

2010-07-29T08:13:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm a huge nerd and love letterpress stationery. So I was tickled when I found the Felt & Wire Shop online yesterday! Ridgecrest doesn't have much to offer in the way of greeting cards, so it was a real treat to find this adorable and affordable resource! I just ordered some wonderful card sets and the above print, which I cannot wait to hang on the wall at home!

Watermelon-Lemonade Pops

2010-07-24T16:17:00.000-07:00

Had to share this to-die-for recipe Ben and I are loving right now (via Bon-Appetit). This California weather is such a killer, but these super simple and super delicious ice pops are such a refresher on hot afternoons! All it takes is watermelon, lemon juice, and sugar (recipe calls for salt, but we don't use it) and a few hours to freeze! I threw some in the freezer earlier to bring over to a friend's for grilling out tonight. So good!

The Angel-ohn Gan-berts Wedding

2010-07-19T09:03:00.000-07:00

This weekend, Ben and I flew home for a whopping 26 hours. Why? Well, not only was Aly getting home from Venice, but two of my oldest friends were getting married. Being the Cheez-Nip I am, I couldn't have missed it -- although we almost did. At 48 hours before we were supposed to be at the reception, Ben and I bought tickets home and made all our arrangements. We literally landed in Peoria at 1:30 and raced to the church, where the ceremony was supposed to start an hour later. We made it in the nick of time, thank goodness.

Angie and John, the lovely couple, started dating when we were 16. My friends and I set them up, giving their wedding even more emotional draw for all of us. From the day they started dating, we all called it that they would be the first to tie the knot. We even had bets on what year they would get hitched, but no one remembers now who had 2010. Little to say, seeing Angie in her wedding dress touched my heart. It's nuts that they finally got married! I literally couldn't be happier for them!

The thing about the wedding, too, was that it was the first time in multiple years that most of our friends from high school were in one place. Through various shifts post high school, our once very close knit group of friends grew apart, as is want to do in such situations. But having everyone back together was great. It didn't take long for all of us to gravitate to one table, start goofing around and laughing, generally falling back into the roles we all played back in the day. It was nice, refreshing, and felt great to touch base after so long, particularly in a setting like that.

All in all, it was a wonderful night. We were among the last to leave the reception, after spending the whole night dancing and laughing. As everyone reminded me during the night, barring any major upsets by other couples, Ben and I are next, which is super exciting!

So Soon?

2010-07-12T18:56:00.000-07:00

Time for a confession. I miss college. I know, I know. It's only been one month. But even with my freedom so new, I know that not being in class will slowly drive me insane.

I miss everything about school. I miss the professors (obviously) and the discussions; the papers and the proposals. I miss constantly discovering new information, feeling like I was in it, not just an observer. I miss feeling like I was being heard on issues that matter to me, even if it was just by the professor. I miss classes so much more than I thought I would, and so much sooner than I thought I would.

I started hunting around for graduate programs yesterday, and of course, they are all on the East Coast. The United States Institute for Peace offers online courses on random stuff at no cost, and I plan on busying myself with those while I make a plan of attack for grad school. I thought I would at least have until September, when DePaul starts classes, before I started longing to go back to 990 W. Fullerton. Go figure.

Broadcasting from Ridgecrest

2010-06-29T06:59:00.000-07:00

"We're home!"
"No. I'm home. You need to go home. And take your cat."

Today is our second day back in Ridgecrest, and my second day of living in California! After a three day, shitton of states drive West, we made it here on Sunday at about 3 in the afternoon. A little later than we had hoped (we were shooting to drive through the night on Saturday, which did not happen) but not a bad time to roll in. Got the truck unloaded, hung around, and passed out at like 8:30. My preferred bedtime, actually!

Since then, I've been busy unpacking. Ben goes into work really early, so I've been getting up with him and starting my day ASAP. I've hit the point where everything easy is unpacked -- clothes, bathroom stuff -- and now begins the puzzle of finding where other things can fit. Chances are a lot of things will stay in boxes until we move to the house we will be renting in a couple months, which is fine by me. No sense straining to unload everything here when it's just going back into a box in a couple months.

Snicket was pretty good the whole ride out and is getting used to the apartment fast. She slept a lot in the truck, be it in her carrier, on my lap with her arms wrapped around me, or on Ben's lap when he could wrestle her out. I'm pretty sure Ben and Snick are falling deeply in love, but we'll have to see what happens in the days that follow. The funniest thing ever might have been when fat cat, allowed to wander the cab of the truck while we ate, managed to get herself stuck behind the gas and brake pedals, so when we opened the door, we were greeted by a scared, panting, oddly positioned cat. Just lovely.

Pet Peeve Times Infinity

2010-06-23T06:05:00.000-07:00

Alright, I'm not in the best mood today, so I'm gonna take this opportunity to rail against something that drives me positively crazy. What is it that has gotten my goat lately? Well, lemme tell ya. I've been wanting to get my hands on a Palestinian keffiyeh for some time now, so I started searching the web for possible vendors. What consistently came up? This whole idea of a "trendy keffiyeh." And that, my friends, does not sit well with me.

In case you haven't spent the past four years studying the Middle East, a keffiyeh is a checkered scarf traditionally worn by Arab men. Different colors stand for different countries. The black and white checkered scarf, which is tied to Palestine, became a trademark for Yasar Arafat.

So, here's what makes me crazy. When I see a girl/guy wearing a Palestinian keffiyeh they bought at Hot Topic for $8, I want very badly to start grilling them on the Israel-Palestine conflict. I wanna know how they feel about Hamas' election in 2006, or what they have to say about the seige in Gaza, or what's going on in East Jerusalem. To wear a keffiyeh, to me, means showing solidarity with the Palestinian struggle for liberation, so for it be co-opted into a fashion statement is just offensive. Of course, it's totally in line with the misinformed, ignorant American culture to take a symbol of resistance and strip it of all meaning (what up, Che Guevara?) but the keffiyeh in particular makes me crazy.

Why I Love Keith Olbermann

2010-06-22T20:08:00.000-07:00

Seriously. I've got total love for Keith Olbermann. I've been watching Countdown, his show on MSNBC, on and off since I was in high school. Sure, I've heard all the lines about Edward R. Murrow and stuff like that, but the man is still fantastic. And tonight's Special Comment on General McChrystal's upcoming article in Rolling Stone was yet another brilliant segment.

The Undead: Threat to National Security

2010-06-22T08:04:00.001-07:00

Awesome article from Foreign Policy, about zombies. "From a public-policy perspective, zombies surely merit greater interest than other paranormal phenomena such as aliens, vampires, wizards, hobbits, mummies, werewolves, and superheroes."

Stress Stress Stress

2010-06-19T07:17:00.000-07:00

Between getting ready to move to California, having zero cell phone reception, and the rainy weather, I'm getting more and more irritable. Ugh! In one week, I won't have to worry about any of it but geez is it getting to me right now!

Puh-lease?

2010-06-17T19:40:00.000-07:00

When I was 14, I was lucky enough to spend a few days at Tangalooma, off Moreton Island in Queensland. Lately, with everything going on, the idea of hanging out on the beach, watching the dolphins, and enjoying the gorgeous landscape sounds like exactly what I could go for! So random that it popped into my mind -- it's been 7 years! (Holy cow, that was 7 years ago?!)

Final Countdown

2010-06-17T07:34:00.000-07:00

Today is one week from Ben's arrival to move me out to California. I'm so excited, but kind of sad. I mean, I love home, and being here makes me realize how much I'll miss it. But it's still totally awesome and thrilling that I'm going to be living with my fella!

I start work one week after getting out there, so I have a little bit of time to regroup, but not a whole lot. I'm glad -- I would get restless if I was sitting around for too long. I'm excited to start work! I typically enjoy working -- yay boundless optimism! -- and can't wait to actually start my grown up job. The lag week will be spent getting settled in and working on a few projects I can't wait to get started.

I have a desk and a dresser that I plan on stripping and refinishing, be that painting or staining them. I'm not sure yet -- they are both painted now, and I'm not sure how they look underneath. Both are pretty old, and I can't wait to get going. I need to find some new pulls for them, though, so I might have to check out Sherwood Antique Mall before I leave town. Another project is figuring out the sewing machine Ben's parents got me for graduation. I have been dying to learn how to sew. Well, I learned in high school, but I've been dying to get back into it. I plan on going easy at first, like trying to make an apron, then working my way up to more difficult stuff.

Other than that, I will be able to spend time tending the garden (yay!) and making sure Snicket doesn't freak out too bad. Hopefully my being there will help her adjust. More than anything, I just can't wait to be able to cuddle up with Ben every night!

"I always forget we're a Catholic school until stuff like this."

2010-06-15T07:20:00.000-07:00

Well, it's all over. Classes, papers, all that is over and done with. On Sunday afternoon, I became an official DePaul graduate. Political Science class of 2010. Whoa. My. God.

I can't really sum up how I feel as a graduate. To be honest, it doesn't even feel real. I feel like in about a week I should be heading back to 990 W. Fullerton to start classes again. In a sick way, part of me wishes I was, because Professor Marrar is teacing a class on the Iraq War this fall, and I would just love to take it. As I explained to my family at dinner, I will sincerely miss school. I loved my classes, loved my professors, and consider school my favorite part of my time in Chicago. It has played a huge part of my life for the past year and a half, so I'm not sure how I'll feel once it hits me that I'm really not going back.

The ceremony was nice. Not as bad as I thought. DePaul breaks it up into the seperate colleges (Communications, Business, etc.) and has multiple ceremonies throughout the weekend. Mine (Liberal Arts and Sciences) was the last one, and also the largest one. There were probably about 1000 kids participating, and that's not all the people who actually got degrees. The speakers were all good. Funny, honest, and even the Catholic references and prayers were enjoyable. The opening blessing was quite lovely. "...And God bless our Blackhawks." Even though DePaul is a Catholic school, it's Vincentian (St. Vincent de Paul is our patron) so it's way more about being socially responsible and helping those in need than being a good Catholic.

The whole family and Ben's parents came in for the ceremony and dinner, which was so awesome. I'm such a cheesepuff, but I love that everyone was together. It means so much to me! Afterwards, Ben and I packed up the last of my stuff in the apartment, then crashed out on an impromptu sleeping machine. All in all, it was a great great day and a great weekend! We even got to see Andy and Katie, who came up for the day on Saturday and stayed the night.

This is Life, and it's Happening Right Now

2010-06-10T13:47:00.001-07:00

Four years of college have officially ended. As of Sunday, I will be a bonafide Political Scientist. Or as I keep saying, "Learned-Ass" Political Scientist. It's pretty crazy, what with how hair brained my "cram two years of classes into one" plan was, that I'm actually here! But, my cap and gown are at my apartment, and I'm totally excited to be an official alumn!

Plus, we are officially two weeks away from Ben and I living together! That might be crazier than the fact that I'm graduating, just because it's always felt so distant. Two years have culminated in this one event. So awesome! Sure, I'm a little nervous, but who wouldn't be? More than anything, I'm thrilled. I can't wait to be under the same roof!

On that topic, I'm thinking about starting a blog to document our first year living together. Since this is the only one I keep up on anymore (despite occasionally wanting to go all politics blogger again) I don't feel too bad starting another one. Plus, Ben and I are pretty freakin' awesome, so it could make for some wonderful entertainment. I'm still kicking around the idea, but I'm thinking it would be fun.

Best. Campaign. Ever.

2010-06-05T14:20:00.000-07:00

Dear whoever decided to put Liam Neeson's face on every bus in the city,

Thank you times infinity.

Love, Bridey

2010-06-01T13:54:00.000-07:00

So, with college coming to an end, I've spent a lot of time reflecting on my educational experience. What I've come to realize is that, well, Political Science is not an easy major. I don't mean in terms of difficult in the way math or physical science is difficult, but in terms of living with what you learn. Here, let me explain.

On any given day this quarter, I've spent hours learning about civilian casualties in warfare, socializing soldiers to become killers, the tragedy of the Great Leap Forward, or US-Soviet Union nuclear build up. We spend hours discussing genocide and atrocities committed around the world, the ramifications of a nuclear conflict, and other real upper topics. You literally go from watching a video about Slobodon Milosevic to suddenly being on the corner of Fullerton and Sheffield, going to Dominicks for a salad before your next class. It creates this really weird double reality, where you have to balance this life as a college student in Chicago with this unbelievably heavy reality of political complexities. It's not like, say, English, where you close the book and walk away. Political Science is literally always with you in one way or another, even if it is just in the back of your mind.

I love Political Science. I really, really do. There is no other major that I would enjoy this much or take as much from, besides maybe History, which is essentially the same thing. Politcal Scientists and Historians are, really, a lot a like. Historians just use the past to explain the past, while Political Scientists use the past to predict the future. Either way, I am so glad that I decided to do Political Science, and the fact that at night I'm occasionally haunted by the idea of Rwanda or chemical weapons being used against civilians doesn't change that. I'll gladly take the occasional nuclear nightmare as long as I know what I'm learning is important, and I can think of nothing as important as the world.

Breath

2010-05-31T14:23:00.000-07:00

With the stress of moving, graduating, and finding a job, it's getting easier and easier everyday to get whisked up into the abyss of stress. But, I'm trying desperately to keep in mind that in no time I will be waking up to Ben every morning, planning our wedding, and enjoying post college life, with no final papers for as far as the eye can see.

Hooman Majd

2010-05-30T14:11:00.000-07:00

In the past few years, I have read more books and articles on Iran than I would care to count (or admit here). Of all the writers I've come across on the topic, I would have to say my favorite is Hooman Majd, an Iranian-American journalist and author. He published The Ayatollah Begs to Differ, fascinating look at Iranian culture and politics, a few years ago and is coming out with a new book, The Ayatollah's Democracy, this autumn. He has an amazing insight on the real Iran, as an American with an inside look and connection to the culture, and a deep understanding of the country's politicians and issues. His recent Foreign Policy article, Postcard from Tehran, is a great look at how life in the Islamic Republic has changed (and stayed the same) since the election almost a year ago.

It's Torture

2010-05-28T08:32:00.000-07:00

As anyone who knows me even vaguely is aware, I'm Irish (not Asian, as some people apparently believe). While everyone knows the Irish are completely superior in most almost every way, one slight flaw in our makeup is our inability to tan. Being someone who likes to wear short dresses, my flourescent legs are kind of a bummer, but not something I actively seek to remedy.

Well, yesterday, Helen and I decided to go to the beach. Both of us are pale, so we figured we would at least give laying out a shot, soke up some sun, lounge around. Ya know, the beach thing. It turns out that was a horrible mistake. Despite putting on sunscreen, we burnt to a crisp. And of all places, on the back of our legs. As I sit here, typing this, I am in the most horrific pain. Everything my legs touch, I stick to, including my skirt and my chair.

I hate the sun.

True Blood

2010-05-26T07:30:00.000-07:00

Anyone else loving on the True Blood minisodes, which can be seen on HBO's website? I won't be able to see the new season until California, sadly, so I'm in love with these little "drops of True Blood"!

PS: This made me giggle.

Living In: The Darjeeling Limited

2010-05-26T07:20:00.000-07:00

There are many reasons I have mad love for Wes Anderson's film The Darjeeling Limited. Jason Schwartzman and Adrien Brody, beautiful shots of India (where I am dying to go), songs about the Champs Elysees. Little to say, since it came out, I have been eaten up with the idea of taking a train across India, assuming said train is delightfully vintage (which might not be too difficult to find considering the location). Words cannot explain my joy at Living In: The Darjeeling Limited, posted today on Design*Sponge. Love, love, love it!

Best Thing Ever?

2010-05-24T14:33:00.001-07:00

Quote

2010-05-24T07:47:00.001-07:00

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2010-05-24T07:42:00.000-07:00

How crazy is this sudden heat wave? My little apartment has turned into a sauna. But with the heat comes all kinds of excitement, because even though I hate intense heat, I love all that comes with summertime (minus bugs). My favorite might just be farmers markets, and having lived in the city last summer, I was able to take full advantage of all their wonders. I'm a freak for organics, local and sustainable foods, so markets are right up my alley. Last year, I had a class near the Daley Plaza market, and I stocked up on fresh fruit whenever I had the chance. I froze most of it, since I bought a lot of whatever was cheap at the time, and enjoyed delicious fruit smoothies almost all winter!

I'm not sure how thriving the farmers markets are in Ridgecrest, but I can take solice in tending the little garden we have on the patio. Once we move, I plan on getting a little more ambitious (like growing berries!). I do wish that open air markets weren't just a special seasonal thing, though. Once again, Paris trumps the US!

When Do I Get to Live in Stars Hollow and Work with Alec Baldwin?

2010-05-23T10:16:00.000-07:00

I've come to conclusion that I'm an awkward hybrid of Liz Lemon and Rory Gilmore. So, where is my Stars Hollow and my job offer from NBC?

It's So Close!

2010-05-21T08:26:00.000-07:00

So, in not too long, it is going to be Graduation weekend. That's right -- only like three weeks left! I am so excited, I can't even wait. But there is more than one reason why that weekend is going to be magnificent. Here -- let me explain.

First off, of course, is the joy of being done with college. Is there any better feeling? I mean, after the endless hours spent on campus for the past year and three months, I really feel like I accomplished something. And while I am not pumped to sit through the ceremony, I am pumped to be able to say I am a DePaul Alum! That will be awesome!

Another reason? Well, post Graduation, we are all going out for dinner. Sure, it sounds run of the mill, but chances are you have never experienced a dinner with the Heing clan. Ben's folks are coming up too (I think), so it'll be one big table. We Heing's manage to turn any family dinner into at least a couple hours of laughing, joking, and generally bizarre behavior, and I'm sure that the post-Grad euphoria will only make it all that much more enjoyable! Still not sure where we are eating, which I really need to decide, but I kinda want to find somewhere with outdoor seating. That way we can be as giggly as we want and not disturb fellow diners.

There's more! That Saturday (the day before Graduation) Andy and Katie are coming up to the city! They are riding up in the morning, spending the day and night galavanting with Ben and I, and then heading to a game at Wrigley the next day. I'm pumped they are coming up; we four don't get much time all together, so I'm really looking forward to a day spent lolling around the city. Apparently Andy has never been to the Lincoln Park Conservatory, so I'm thrilled to introduce him to that! It's right up his alley.

AND THAT'S NOT ALL! While the thrill of seeing Ben is enough in and of itself, it also happens to be his birthday in a few weeks. He won't be here for his proper birthday, but I have every intention of using my fiance authority in declaring the weekend he is in town as a re-do birthday. The only problem is we don't have a whole lot of time to ourselves, so I will have to plan around everything to fit in some birthday adventures. I don't want to say too much, cause I know he gets on here sometimes, but I have a few ideas I'm kicking around.

So, as you can see, Graduation weekend is pretty much going to be the best culmination of my college career I could possibly ask for! Now, the only hard part will be making it through the next three weeks. . .

What's Wrong with Me?

2010-05-20T09:33:00.000-07:00

Seriously? The past two days I have spent a lot of time pondering said question. Why you ask? Well, I managed to pinch a nerve or pull a muscle or break my spine yesterday morning. And what extreme physical labor was I engaging in, you ask? I was getting dressed. Yes, that's right. I have caused myself excruciating pain for the past two days, right between my shoulder blades, by putting on clothes. I have no idea how it works, but it did, and I hate it.

Fun Fact!

2010-05-18T11:32:00.001-07:00

Did you know that Iran performs the second highest number of sex change surgeries in the world, right behind Thailand? Or that the government provides half of the cost for surgery, if needed, and then will legally change your birth certificate to reflect the change in gender? I knew they offered it through the government, but didn't know they did so many OR that they were legally recognized by the state!

"Just Put Me in Anything!"

2010-05-16T08:06:00.000-07:00

So, I won't lie. I was so nervous to go look at dresses. Not for any cold feet reason, but because I kept imaging 14 year old awkward me trying them on. Not sure why. But I thought I would look super awkward and really weird in these formal dresses, or just feel out of place.

Thank goodness, that wasn't the case! It was a great time, and it was a lot of fun hanging with the girls. We were late for the appointment, but in the end we didn't need that extra time anyway. The consultant kind of lost interest once she figured out we weren't actually buying anything, which was discouraging. We were being charming! Guess I need to be more of a Bridezilla.

But I did try on a lot of dresses, in a variety of styles, just to weed through what I really liked and really don't. I was pretty spot on in my initial thoughts on general idea, but I'm re-thinking my opinions on length. I did try on one dress that can only be described as Princess Diana-esque, just for the hell of it. When the woman asked me what I thought, I said, "Well, I don't see Prince Charles coming anytime soon, so I'd best take it off." There were like two or three dresses I totally loved, and if I could Dr. Frankenstein them together, I would have my dress. But sadly, David's Bridal doesn't allow you be play mad scientist with dresses, so I'm SOL. I'm glad I got to narrow it down, though, and figure out what works on me and what doesn't. With my oddly proportioned body, I'm never sure how things will look on me!

The girls, by the way, were amazing! Not only encouraging, but also awesome at pulling random dresses I never would have thought to put on. Having supportive people around is, far and away, the most wonderful and helpful thing ever, especially when it comes to something like this. It means a lot that the people in my life can be so supportive and encouraging! What can I say -- Ben and I are just ridiculously lucky!

What a great weekend! It was so much fun looking at wedding dresses yesterday, as well as hanging with my darling dog on Friday and getting to see Mikey Eff last night! These weekends go by way too fast for my liking!

Where is Randy?

2010-05-14T10:56:00.000-07:00

This weekend, I'm home with a very special mission: Look at wedding dresses! Tomorrow, my bridesmaids (minus Kim) and I are going to start hunting for The Dress, and I am so excited! While I don't have any intention of buying a dress tomorrow, hopefully I can get it narrowed down to a particular style. I've been planning on looking for a more vintage, tea length situation, since it's more my style than a princess-ballgown set up. I'm so excited a) to be looking at dresses and b) to spend the day with my girls!

Wishlist

2010-05-12T08:06:00.000-07:00

Along with that charming "Keep Calm and Have a Cupcake" print, this map is going on the list of things I want for my future home! How awesome is it! I've always loved the idea of having a world map to stick pins in as Ben and I travel the world, and I'm in love with this "These Are Things" modern twist on a classic map!

Freekibblekat

2010-05-12T07:58:00.000-07:00

So if you follow the magnificent Sockington on Twitter, then you probably already know about Freekibblekat. I just heard about it, but wanted to share the link so that others can check it out. Basically, everyday you answer a question, ten pieces of kibble are donated to feed cats in animal shelters. If you haven't been to an animal shelter, let me tell you -- the cats are usually the most populous part of the place. So helping out by donating kibble is a great way to rack up some karma points, and feed some poor cats!

Flashback

2010-05-11T09:38:00.000-07:00

Last night, I watched an old episode of True Life on MTV. It was the "I'm going to Prom" episode, which in and of itself isn't that interesting, but it got me thinking about my own Prom experience. My Senior year is the one I invariably end up looking back on, for a number of reasons. For anyone keeping track, I was Prom Queen! I know, people are usually surprised to find that out, since I don't really seem the type. But nonetheless, I managed to cross that one off the bucket list. My dress was awesome -- vintage 1952 black dress, totally gorgeous! I love, love, love that I got to wear it that year.

But one of the most pronounced things to remember now, which happens to have taken on new meaning in recent years, is that my Senior Prom was where I met Ben for the first time. He went with my best friend, Helen, something we all thought was totally awesome. We kind of idolized all of Helen's older brother's, also named Ben, friends, so Helen taking one of them to Prom was pretty epic. At the time, we were both dating other people, so I would be lying if I said any sparks flew, although that would make it a much better story. We have since determined that we had been at the same place a few other times -- intersecting friend circles will do that -- but hadn't officially met.

Honestly, the biggest thing I remember from the night was making fun of him and Helen. That sounds mean, I know, but if anyone known my friend group at all, they know we show love by picking on each other. Primarily, we were mocking them for swing dancing. Of course, we ended up looking like asses for even trying to copy them, but still. I always think back to that when Ben tries to get me to dance with him. We did talk a bit, although he was too busy talking about guy stuff with our friend Matt, but I left the afterparty early. He kept calling me "Queenie", which I thought was pretty cute. He still does from time to time, primarily when we're talking about when we met.

I wish I could remember that exact moment when we were introduced. Apparently Helen introduced him to my mom, and she gave him a hug. But it's one of those at-the-time-innocent moments that now has so much more depth to it. There was no way either of us could have known that in almost exactly two years, we would be together, let alone be engaged in about three and a half. It's so funny now to remember it all!

Literary Shoutout

2010-05-07T08:44:00.000-07:00

I just finished re-reading a collection of short stories by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Let me say -- I have serious love for the man. In terms of style, few can top him. His ability to capture human emotion, in all it's importance and passion, is amazing. His story The Lees of Happiness just breaks my heart!

Where are the Fennec Foxes?

2010-05-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I spent the afternoon at the zoo with Helen and her friend Tyna (not sure if I spelled that right!). I may or may not have spent most of the trip cooing about all the adorable children. . . Of all things to do in the city, spending a day lolling around Lincoln Park and meandering through the zoo is probably one of my favorites. I'll miss it being only a brief walk away! And of course I'll miss being able to spend random days with my lovely ladies when I'm across country. Sad panda. . .

Happier Things!

2010-05-05T08:03:00.000-07:00

This little story and the photos of this wedding are too, too, too cute! I love the chapel they got married in, and how sweet and simple it was! Just amazing.

Deepest Apologies to my Gender

2010-05-05T07:33:00.000-07:00

I'm in a class this quarter called Political Socialization. Don't ask me what it means -- week six and I'm still not totally sure. But we spend a lot of time talking about race relations, gender inequality, stuff like that. The kind of stuff that has spun off Political Science to form majors that people get degrees in for reasons that are totally beyond me. But being in this class has made something extremely clear to me that I've known for years, but kind of avoid. I am not a Feminist.

Women in advertising or hip hop videos don't bother me. I don't lose sleep over the glass ceiling, or subconscious expectations of femininity. I don't feel outrage at the image of womanhood portrayed in Disney movies or on TV. Sure, I want to have a career and all that, but I don't want to do these things for the good of womankind or anything like that. I won't flinch at giving up my career to be a mom. I don't think women are inferior or anything like that, I just . . . don't care.

I spent some time thinking about it, and realized that I don't even have a female "hero" in the same way I have males. FDR, the Kennedys, Khatami -- people who inspire me are all male. One exception would be Rachel Maddow, but she's proved herself as able to stand up with the men's club of political commentary. Besides Zooey Deschanel and Jenny Lewis, my musical taste is male dominated. Even on TV, I'm more drawn to male characters, like Don Draper. Women I find interesting are like the women on Big Love, or even Mad Men, who have a kind of stoic nature in the face of their problems. They take the situation as it comes. Take for example Betty Draper, who left Don this past season after finding out that he lied about his identity and cheated on her (like a billion times.) It wasn't outrage at Don's behavior I felt, but outrage that Betty would actually do that to him.

I do have women I look to for "image inspiration" when it comes to clothes and things, like Zooey Deschanel or Audrey Hepburn. But the women I'm drawn to, I guess you could say, perpetuate the female stereotypes so many people rail against. My vision of what being a woman means is derived from Jackie (and can't forget Ethel!) Kennedy, or F. Scott Fitzgerald books, or Audrey -- that classic idea of being quirky, but still being a lady in that classic sense.

I don't know what it means, or where it came from. I mean, I'm a strong person, not a push over or anything like that. I stand up for myself and all that, but not with any sense of female pride, or even female entitlement.

Humph. I should have been born decades ago.

Soldier's Joy

2010-05-04T09:15:00.001-07:00

In keeping with the theme, I wanted to share a ditty that I hold near and dear to my heart. It's another Old Crow performance, this time of "Soldier's Joy". In high school, we had a recording of this song, and would listen to it all the time. It's a Civil War era tune, and personally, I love it!

Favorite Things

2010-05-04T09:06:00.000-07:00

I love many things about my dearest bluegrass/revivalist/folk-ish music scene. One of them is how they do music videos. The whole scene typically doesn't release actual music videos (an exception is Old Crow's video for "Wagon Wheel") but instead tapes a live performance and releases that. I think it's genius, because the video then has the energy of a live take (another favorite thing).

Here are a few worth checking out: The Avett Brothers' "Nothing Short of Thankful", Old Crow Medicine Show "Tell It To Me", and The Felice Brothers' "Frankie's Gun". Unrelated, but am I the only one who finds the singer of The Felice Brothers particularly attractive? I think it's the voice. . .

2010-05-03T07:28:00.000-07:00

I desperately want this for my kitchen. Oh, and now I desperately want a cupcake.

Things I'm Ashamed I Don't Like

2010-05-03T07:16:00.000-07:00

I spent some time this weekend thinking about all the things I feel like I should like, but don't. You know how it is -- if you fit a certain mold, you have those things you are supposed to like, and if you don't, well, it's awkward. I had an awkward moment with a friend recently, in which she started talking about Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, and clearly expected me to join in the praise. But here's the thing -- I couldn't stand the damn thing! I didn't even make it through 1/4 of the video! But I'm supposed to like it, which lead to her, "What? You . . . you don't like it?" reaction.

Other things that fall into this category: Radiohead, Animal Collective, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Death Cab for Cutie, and Ron Paul. It goes both ways, of course. I'm a little embarrassed (although less so now than before) by how much I love Beyonce and generally adore bluegrass/revivalist music, as well as crushes I have on people like Liam Neeson and Anderson Cooper.

Just one more reason I'm an awkward panda.

Southern Wedding

2010-04-30T07:44:00.001-07:00

I was thrilled when OnceWed ran this awesome Southern Wedding, inspired by Johnny Cash and June Carter! Who doesn't love Johnny, really? And perhaps it's due to my rural upbringing (in what I often joke is a bizarre Southern enclave in North Central Illinois) or my romanticized vision of the Southern/ South Eastern part of the country, but I do love all the down home touches!

Warning: This Is Not A Vision

2010-04-30T07:26:00.000-07:00

This video, which ran on Countdown with Keith Olbermann last night, cracks me up! It's from Kids in the Hall, a '90s sketch comedy show from Canada, of which I was a huge fan when I was younger. This particular sketch was clearly a warning to the world of the horrors to come when Glenn Beck got his own TV show.

Also, if you are on facebook and haven't signed the petition to have the precatory prayer group, which is praying for President Obama's death, taken down, do it! Right wing hate speech has gone too far with this one!

A Single Unfortunate Event

2010-04-28T07:49:00.000-07:00

Last night, I had a bit of an adventure. Sitting in my apartment, enjoying Tough Love Couples on VH1, my lazy evening was interrupted by a fire alarm in the hallway. Let me tell you, my apartment building is a little janky, so at first I was just going to ignore it. But since it persisted, I decided to poke my head out in the hall to see if anyone else was a) showing interest or b) running for their lives. There was one other woman out there, and we speculated that someone was burning A LOT of incense (that's what it smelled like down by us.) But as we got closer to the alarm, it started to smell like real smoke, and a couple from the 4th floor came down to see what was going on. Apparently, they had smelled smoke 20 minutes before, but the building manager had no interest in coming to check it out. We speculated for a while about what to do, and called the building manager again, who still refused to come. As we stood there, the smoke got thicker and thicker, and we decided it would be best to gather our various pets and evacuate the building. The fire dept came very, very quickly, and sure enough -- there was bonafide fire in the apartment down the hall! His stove had caught on fire while he wasn't home, an idea that causes me great, great anxiety.

While it might make me a terrible person, I immediately thought of Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, the saga of the Baudelaire children, which starts after their home burns down. What can I say -- it's the only thing my brain can relate the experience to. My experience with fire is highly limited.

PS: Unrelated, but I save the entire Lemony Snicket series, in hardback and 1st edition, and can't wait to read them to my children! As Ben says, our kids are going to be totally strange.

One more thing . . .

2010-04-27T09:23:00.001-07:00

This makes me smile.

Shoutout

2010-04-27T09:05:00.000-07:00

I'm not one to spend a lot of time gushing about how great my fiance is. I'm more apt to poke fun at or tell wicked awesome stories about him, but I like to think I don't bore people to death by gushing over him. Well, maybe it's the fact that I only have 83 days left before I get to live with him, or maybe it's a full moon, or maybe the planets are just aligned, because I'm in a gushing mood.

Let me say, I never imagined myself ending up with someone like Ben. But, as I've often said, he ended up being everything I never knew I was looking for. Not only is he super smart and offensively good looking, but he's sweet and he's funny. He gets my racist and sexist and generally offensive jokes, and even leaves me in fits of giggles with the stuff he comes up with. He can deliver a line so deadpan, it melts my heart!

He loves my dog, and humors me by listening to and laughing at stories about my cat. He even plays with her when in fat cat's presence, despite being allergic. He sits on the phone with me for hours, even when I'm being difficult and fissy pissy (which happens.) He watches my weird movies, and didn't even make me go see Green Zone last time I was in Ridgecrest. He fits in with my family, which is not an easy trick to pull off. He let's me ramble about class or what I saw on Keith Olbermann or what I read on so and so's facebook. He makes me feel great about myself, and helped me get back on track. If it weren't for him, I am not so sure I would be 5 weeks away from graduation.

Sure, we've had our ups and downs over the past 2 years (!!). But all in all, it's been amazing! He's fun, awesome, and dorky (which I mean with love!) and even after 23 months of being together, he still makes me feel the way I did when he was coming over for the first time, to watch Lolita.

Too Funny!

2010-04-26T14:33:00.000-07:00

Why, hello, ancient high school Xanga!

http://bwidgy.xanga.com/weblogpreview

One Last Look Back

2010-04-26T07:41:00.000-07:00

Last night, I spent about 3 hours watching old videos and going through notes from high school/early college. I haven't really gone through them since I moved to Chicago, at which point I wasn't able to throw any away. See, I'm kind of like Jonathan, from Everything is Illuminated, in that I have a horrible fear of forgetting things, people, feelings. So I save random scraps of paper and notes to try and hold onto those moments. And after going through that shoebox (which was little crammed full) well, I saved a bunch.

High school was a lot of fun, but I had (just as I feared) forgotten a lot of the minor crises over the years. That was pretty interesting, going back and remembering all the ups and downs. You never think you and your friends are dramatic until you look back. Granted, we had a level of drama that most high school students only dream of achieving. They seriously could have made a TV show about us. And since a lot of us don't talk anymore, it would have made for an awesome reunion special!

The video I watched was in the camcorder when I started it up. I haven't touched the thing in a few years, so I didn't even know if it would work. But, it did, and the tape that had been in there since we shot it was from a week when one of our friends' parents were out of town. We all stayed over there, and it was a really fun week. It was weird going back through that tape and remembering all the little daily adventures we had, be it the epic fail of their DVD player or a friend throwing a piece of pizza on the roof of the garage. It was one of the last times our core group of high school friends were all together, and it's weird to think about how much has happened since then.

Anyway, I threw away a bunch of notes this morning. And I'm going to start taping over some of the old random footage from high school this summer. It isn't easy, but it's the last thing I'm hanging onto from those bygone days, and I'd rather just remember it on my own instead of with the aid of tapes and notes. I prefer the weird mythology I've managed to build up in my mind about those "glory days," and want that instead of the flawed and drama-filled reality.