One Last Look Back

Last night, I spent about 3 hours watching old videos and going through notes from high school/early college. I haven't really gone through them since I moved to Chicago, at which point I wasn't able to throw any away. See, I'm kind of like Jonathan, from Everything is Illuminated, in that I have a horrible fear of forgetting things, people, feelings. So I save random scraps of paper and notes to try and hold onto those moments. And after going through that shoebox (which was little crammed full) well, I saved a bunch.

High school was a lot of fun, but I had (just as I feared) forgotten a lot of the minor crises over the years. That was pretty interesting, going back and remembering all the ups and downs. You never think you and your friends are dramatic until you look back. Granted, we had a level of drama that most high school students only dream of achieving. They seriously could have made a TV show about us. And since a lot of us don't talk anymore, it would have made for an awesome reunion special!

The video I watched was in the camcorder when I started it up. I haven't touched the thing in a few years, so I didn't even know if it would work. But, it did, and the tape that had been in there since we shot it was from a week when one of our friends' parents were out of town. We all stayed over there, and it was a really fun week. It was weird going back through that tape and remembering all the little daily adventures we had, be it the epic fail of their DVD player or a friend throwing a piece of pizza on the roof of the garage. It was one of the last times our core group of high school friends were all together, and it's weird to think about how much has happened since then.

Anyway, I threw away a bunch of notes this morning. And I'm going to start taping over some of the old random footage from high school this summer. It isn't easy, but it's the last thing I'm hanging onto from those bygone days, and I'd rather just remember it on my own instead of with the aid of tapes and notes. I prefer the weird mythology I've managed to build up in my mind about those "glory days," and want that instead of the flawed and drama-filled reality.