Well, I bucked up today and went downtown to get my phone fixed. It was nice out, and since it's supposed to be really nice this weekend, I figured this way, I can stay in Lincoln Park and enjoy the warmth rather than get on the EL and head downtown. Thought I was getting lost in the Loop trying to find ATT, but I stumbled upon it! Oh yeah. Go me.
The past few days I've had that weird kinda, little kid feeling. Ya know when you're a kid and you act like an adult? Do the things you think an adult should do? Yeah, I've been feeling like that. I mean, this past weekend, at Andy and Katie's wedding, I had a rush of it. They have a few years on me, but only like 2 or 3. I kept thinking, "How are we old enough for this?" When did that happen? When was the line drawn in the sand between being way too young and just old enough?
How can I have my own apartment? How can I be graduating college next year? How can this be my life? I mean, I'm Bee. At four years old, I told people Darkwing Duck was my boyfriend. When I was six and went into school late, I didn't know what cutting in line was. It feels like when you're sixteen, and all the sudden you can drive and you feel really grown up, but just because you have that piece of plastic doesn't mean you're any older. You're still in high school, still a Junior, still a kid. And I still feel like a kid! I think I'll always think of myself as the same awkward 16 year old who got made fun of for reading the Communist Manifesto.
It all feels almost fake. Like, someone is going to realize one day that I'm clearly too young to be where I am.
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Lol I LOVE this post. I'm 25 and getting married in a little over a month and I've found myself having those exact same thoughts. I feel like my wedding is just another HUGE halloween party but it's not. So scary. I feel your only as old as you feel you are and I feel 16!
ReplyDeleteI hope we get to hang out again!