Well, That 4th of July Sucked.

The past few summers have been very informative. It seems like each time, I've learned something different. Summer '07 was when I moved home from Chicago, and was all about reconnecting with old friends. Summer '08 taught me that the people you knew back in high school aren't necessarily the same now, and that it's pretty obvious who you can actually depend on. So far, summer '09 has been kinda weird. This is the first time I'm in summer school and not living at home, which has thrown me for a loop. But this summer is shaping up to be just as eye-opening as the past few. I'm seeing a lot now that I couldn't, or didn't want to, last summer. And I'm learning that the people who make you a priority are the ones worth putting at the top of your list.

I always say that I have great people in my life, and I mean that. The people who have been in my life for the past year or so are awesome friends, and I'm lucky to have them. But in my immediate circle of friends, it feels like I spend more time trying to explain away their behavior than I do actually hanging out with them. I've always been quick to make excuses for people when they upset me, giving them the benefit of the doubt. But the more I think about it, the more obvious it is that, for a few people, I'm someone they can put on a backburner, even when I've just gotten out of the emergency room.

I'm not looking for grand, sweeping gestures. I don't need to outrank everyone all the time. But at least making me feel like I'm being considered would go such a long way. And I mean actually considered, not just doing so in order to avoid a fight or make yourself look good. If there is one thing I hate in people, it's inauthenticity. I'm lucky enough to have a best friend that I know cares enough about me to, when I need her, cancel her 4th of July plans to sit in a hospital with me, then drive around while I vent. That means a whole lot to me, and I would do the same for her in a heartbeat. There are a few people I would do that for, but I guess the question is whether or not they would do that for me.