Favorite Time of Year

I love the holiday season for many reasons, and one of those is "It's A Wonderful Life". Frank Capra is one of my favorite filmmakers, and "It's A Wonderful Life" is one of my favorite movies. Truth be told, I watch it all year round. But now that it's the holiday season, I can watch it as much as I want without being kind of awkward!

Airplane Reading

F. Scott Fitzgerald is probably one of my favorite writers of all time. His style is amazing! For the unending flight to Nairobi, I picked up two of his books: This Side of Paradise and The Beautiful and Damned. His stories are so wonderful, and even though they are kind of cliche as Jazz Age classics, the actual stories themselves are totally underrated.

I Feel A Craving Coming On . . .

How great do these look! Whimsy and Spice is one of my favorite random websites to poke around on, mainly because everything looks totally delicious and homemade. Sadly, I have no baking ability (and no ice cream maker) but maybe soon I will get brave and give it a shot!

Reading "Missed Connections" is kind of a guilty pleasure of mine. They are just so sweet, in a real life kind of way. Sophie Blackall illustrates "Missed Connections" and I'm totally in love with the whimsical pictures!

Celebratory Concert

There is nothing I love more than live music, and so to celebrate the end of the first quarter of my Senior year, I'm going to see one of my favorite bands tomorrow night! Old Crow Medicine Show has been a favorite among my friends and I for the past few years, and Wagon Wheel is something of an unofficial theme song. They are so amazing! I can't wait to see them!

A Week and a Half Away!

I can't believe I leave for Kenya in a week and a half! It's so awesome, but still hasn't sunk in. It's weird enough that this quarter is over today, let alone that I'm going to Africa next Saturday! The picture above is Mount Kenya, where we are going to be doing some work with the Green Belt Movement!

Pour Les Infantes

When I have children, I'm going to try hard to teach them any language I know from the very start. One thing I can't wait to do: read them books in different languages! I was tickled to find this site, featuring a ton of French language children's books, including Babar!

PS: Another book I can't wait to read my kids is The Bears Famous Invasion of Sicily!

Hair Cut Day!

Yup, finally getting my hair cut! I haven't gone in to get it done since last February-March-ish. You see, I'm in a constant battle with my hair, trying to coerce it to look at all like the wonderful Zooey Deschanel. So, I'm planning on getting a trim, and my bangs re-shaped (they have fallen into awful disrepair in the past few weeks.) Hopefully it works!

Holy Fabulous!

Modcloth is officially my favorite website (that I inconveniently can't afford.) Anyone will tell you, I tend to wear the same neutral colors -- I gravitate to blacks, browns, and grays. But I love this dress, with that purple skirt!

Trench Coat Kids

I spied these kids on The Sartorialist today, and happen to find them adorable in their trench coats! There's something very "Artful Dodger" about them. (And they just happen to be in London, which might be why I made that connection.)

And Now The Wait Begins Again!

Another season of Mad Men over! I can't believe how fast it went. Or how amazing that finale was last night! It was such a crazy turn around for Don, suddenly being totally humble and reaching out to the people in his life. It's so great having the old gang (minus Kinsey and Cosgrove) back together! Could Joan be any more wonderful? I think not. I can't wait to see what the next season holds -- I just hope Betty is miserable.

And I can't believe Bored to Death is over already! I really hope it gets signed for another season. It was one of the funniest things on TV!

Things Worth Loving

With the anniversary of the Fall of the Berlin Wall, I've had the movie Good Bye Lenin! on my mind. It's about a young man who has to recreate East Germany in his mother's room after she comes out of a coma that she slipped into before the fall of the wall.

And along the same lines, the idea of recreating DDR life in hotels fascinates me! I've never been to Berlin, but the Cold War is one of my interests and I would love to visit this place! Plus, it's super cheap. . .

From the Cold War to Cold War Kids! Not only are they coming to Chicago in January, but they are also releasing an EP that month! You can check out the teaser here. I'm just crazy about these guys!

Totally unrelated: This dress is adorable!!

I have potential to become a DIY nut (once I have more space to do things myself in) and this project looks like it would be fun! These vases (which ran on design*sponge) are so simple, but super cute. And since I have a bottle of wine in my kitchen for that coq-au-vin recipe, I might have to see what I can do.

In Keeping with the Theme

Oh my goodness! How wonderful is this tote! There are a ton of other cities you can get, but I'm just in love with this Paris map!

Hopefully, This Will Be My Campus!

With the GRE out of the way, the deadline for application to AUP coming up, and only a few months until my siblings and I are heading to Paris, I can't think about anything else! The picture above is of rue de Grenelle, in the 7th, where AUP's campus is. Fingers crossed that the stars align and this is my campus this time next year!

Coq-au-Vin

This weekend, I'm excited to try cooking Coq-au-Vin! It's a traditional French recipe, and since whole chicken was on sale this weekend, I'm going to give it a whirl. French food is just amazing, primarily because it's so simple to make and always tastes fantastic!

Wonderful Weekend

Well, Halloween is over for this year! I got to go to Rockford for the weekend and party with some totally amazing people, many of whom I had heard about from Ben (I was hanging with his friends there) and was thrilled to finally meet! Despite feeling pretty sick today, it was a great time!

And now that it's time to hunker in for November (which will hopefully be better than October weather-wise) I'm ready to go into hibernation mode in my little apartment, and maybe start "sprucing up the J" as my mom would say. This shower curtain is too cute, and the picture is just amazing!

Things Worth Loving

This weekend is bound to be an epic adventure, which means very little time for blogging. Here are some things to adore!

Jack Kerouac is probably my favorite writer of all time. I have a quote of his tattooed on my wrist, own most of his books, and keep a variation on the above picture (Kerouac is on the right, Neal Cassady is on the left) on my bookshelf. This week, I started rereading Maggie Cassady, about his high school sweetheart.

This dress is just wonderful! I'm totally in love with it. Same goes for this one, although it's a much different feel.

One thing I love about Paris is that, no matter what the weather holds, it's always beautiful. Take these two photos, for example: one is dark, and one is light!

With Ben being so far away, I've been getting in very sentimental moods lately. This is one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies, 2 Days In Paris.

While it didn't get a lot of hype, The Brothers Bloom was one of the best movies I saw this summer. And I love this movie poster! Nothing like a good heist movie!

Halloween

Halloween is only days away! This year, I'm going as Sookie Stackhouse, from the show True Blood. I'm heading to Rockford for the weekend, and I can't wait! Definitely in need of some fun with this quarter being so stressful!

After Shock

Wow! My mind is still reeling after last night's amazing Mad Men. And it wasn't even the finale yet! Betty confronting Don about his actual identity was probably the most tense few moments on TV, and Don finally breaking down and telling Betty everything was equal parts heartbreaking and a total relief. And seeing Joan clock Greg over the head with a vase was the best! I wonder what will happen to him in the Army, and what will happen in the finale!

In the meantime, here's a more lighthearted clip to make ya smile!

Language Lesson

Everyone has heard the phrase "When pigs fly," right? Well, in France, they say "When chickens have teeth!" "Quand les poules auront des dents." What a terrifying image!

Sunday TV

Sunday nights are probably my favorite for the whole week! Throughout the year, there is always something great on TV on Sunday nights, and currently, two totally opposite shows that I refuse to miss are airing.

Bored to Death is HBO's new comedy-noir starring Jason Schwartzman and Ted Danson. Schwartzman stars as Jonathan Ames, a writer who moonlights as a private detective. The way they go back and forth between Jonathan's hum-drum day to day life and his act as a detective is so perfect, and the show is hilarious! Ted Danson, as Jonathan's boss, is perfect!

Then, there's Mad Men, which is a show I have plugged on here shamelessly numerous times. With only 3 episodes left in the third season, it's not to be missed! For all the other crap on TV, Mad Men, a show about an ad agency in Manhattan, manages to be simultaneously the most sad, often times funny, and occasionally disturbing thing on TV. They say so much by saying so little! And the fact that the characters can cheat, drink, lie, and do various other bad things, and still make you love them is a testiment to the quality of this show.

Lazy Saturday

And so ends another Saturday! I'm feeling bombed out, have a pizza made, and am gonna watch a movie before hitting the hay. I can't decide between 2 Days In Paris (starring Adam Goldberg, who I happen to think is a total cutie) and Wristcutters: A Love Story. Hmmmmm.

Modcloth Wishlist

How cute is this dress? It just got posted on Modcloth and I'm mildly obsessed with it! If I could overhaul my entire wardrobe, I would do the whole thing in '60's style dresses, like this one. You can see more if this dress here.

PS: Here are a few more cute Modcloth dresses! This one is so cute, and this one looks unbelievably comfy!

Devendra Banhart

Yesterday, I took some time to listen to a few tracks off Devendra Banhart's new album "What We Will Be." I've loved him since I was in high school, when I stumbled upon him on the internet somehow. His music is folky, but bizarre -- very earthy in a way. His albums sometimes sound like clashes of various cultures, with tracks that sound like they were influenced by different parts of the world. But sometimes, well, it gets too weird, even for me. It's like Animal Collective -- unless you are in the right mood, it just hurts your ears. But from what I've heard of the new album, this is not the case for "What We Will Be." Here's a video of him performing "Baby", a song I'm totally in love with right now! His voice is so distinct, and the song itself is so sweet!

For Apartment Living

Not only is Feist beautiful, but this song pretty much sums up all my daydreams on this dreary, cleaning day!

New York Love

Last night I went to see "New York, I Love You." It was totally amazing! Similar to "Paris, I Love You" but still unique. And the stories were really great. It gave a wide spectrum of love related experiences, and is totally easy to relate to throughout the whole thing! This is one of my favorite clips -- short, sweet, and totally romantic, but not cheesy!

Things Worth Loving

Well, the weekend is finally here! To start if off, here are some random things worth falling in love with!

Last night, I saw the trailer for Gentlemen Broncos starring Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords and directed by Jared Hess, who did Napoleon Dynamite! It looks so bizarre, and totally hilarious.

Since it's fall again, I've been wearing my pashmina scarves like crazy! And this dark green one on etsy is too cute. I love the Eastern feel!

With the weather dreary again, I've been in the mood for warm, sweet things, like Pain au Chocolat. The recipe is so easy, and the result is super delicious.

Modcloth never fails when it comes to cute clothes, and this dress is no exception! It would be a great New Years Eve dress.

One of my dreams is to buy an old farmhouse and fix it up, so I sometimes look up old farmhouses on Google. This one really caught my eye -- it's so sad to see such a pretty house run down!

Rainy Day Remedy

Today, the weather is disgusting! Back to the cold, rainy kind of October that I hate. This is my favorite month, too, so it's an extra big drag. Anyway, my plan for tonight is to go see New York, I Love You. I decided to cave and see it tonight because nothing will put you in a good mood like a sweet movie. And plus, the film An Education comes out tomorrow, and I want to see that on Sunday. Going wild and crazy this weekend!

On the way home, I might stop and get some cookie mix. I'm craving them like crazy! Also, I'm fascinated by the idea of Cyd's, who will deliver fresh cookies in Peoria! Being from near Peoria, and having spent a lot of time there over the past few years, I can't believe I didn't know about this awesome service!

Movie Crush

So, I have a habit of getting really obsessed with movie trailers. Sometimes it's months before the movie actually comes out, but I watch the trailer a million times. One such movie is New York, I Love You. It's by the same people who did Paris, Je T'aime, and I hear Hong Kong is next on the list. But New York, I Love You came out this past week, and I'm planning on seeing it this weekend. Can't wait!

Adorable Prints

So, I've been pretty lame about updating this thing, which is too bad because I've found some pretty neat things in the past few weeks. One of them are these prints, which I found on Modcloth today while killing some time.

Another discovery: I adore smoothies. Yup, it seems so simple and yet I'm totally floored by how delicious they are! I suddenly became old at some point and became a fan of Martha Stewarts "Real Simple" magazine (what?!) But she had a few smoothie recipes on her website, so I've been experimenting with the various fruit I froze over the summer. I'm not a big breakfast fan usually, but the blackberry and nectarine smoothie I made today (using what I had left over from my nectarine smoothie yesterday) was so good I devoured it.

Today Should Be A Good Day

It looks gloomy outside, but I've decided that is not going to stop me from leaving the apartment today. As long as it doesn't rain, this is my favorite kind of weather. So, as soon as I finish this, eat something, and get ready, I'm heading out for (at least) a few hours.

Today I'm using my first Groupon. I have to head to campus to print it up really quick, then hop on the EL. There's a coffeeshop in this random neighborhood I've never really been to called @Spot Cafe, where I currently hold a Groupon for two pounds of organic fair trade coffee and a free cup of coffee everyday for the whole month. Yeah, pretty awesome. I'm thrilled! I mean, it looks like it's pretty far away, so I might not be able to get my free coffee that often, but the two pounds of coffee make it so worth the trek out there. And not to mention this particular Groupon only cost $10. Very, very worth it.

Seeing how I feel after that, I might head downtown and go to the Art Institute for a while. It's a nice thing to do on gloomy days, and I love hanging out there. Haven't been for months, though, and I'm kinda in the mood. But, we'll see how I feel after I find this cafe.

Update!

So, after going to the movies, I went to Borders. And I ended up buying a few more books than I intended on. I should have known better, really. I mean, I can't go into a bookstore without finding something, and I have this weird kinda rule that, in a store, if I can't find more than two things I really want, I don't get anything unless I went to get something explicitly. Today, I did go in with a mission, but ended up with four books. That's what happens when you find the book you were looking for for only $15.

Rundown of books purchased -- don't judge:

1) The Ayatollah Begs to Differ by Hooman Majd -- I've been waiting to get this book forever! I saw an interview with Majd on Real Time with Bill Maher, and the guy is fascinating! He used to work as an interpreter for Ahmadinejad! And the book is great so far.

2) The Last Campaign -- I had to replace this book, about Bobby Kennedy's 82 day presidential campaign, after lending it to a friend. I never mind replacing books -- I think of them as donations to boost others' collections.

3) The Bhagavad Gita -- I have to read selections from this for a Just War class I have, and I've been thinking about getting it anyway. India is pretty interesting to me (next frontier for obsession?)

4) The Quran -- Yes, I got a weird look from the cashier with this mix of stuff. But since I'm concentrating on Middle Eastern politics, having a copy of this makes sense. Plus, it's supposed to be really incredible, like the Bhagavad Gita. I may not be religious, but this stuff is still fascinating to me.

Gotta fill my bookshelves, now that I have some extra room!

With my favorite month ever (October) about to begin, I can't believe how busy I'm going to be! Autumn is my favorite time of year, hands down. But since I've been so busy, I haven't been able to enjoy it. Between homework and going home, it's been hard to find time to just relax. But October is going to be busy enough that I doubt I'll be able to make it home too much. Kim is coming up (YAY!) to visit in a few weeks, and Halloween weekend is going to be spent in Rockford (again, YAY!) In between, my weekends are going to be dominated by studying -- be it for the FSOT, which is coming up in less than two weeks, or the GRE, which I'm taking the first weekend of November. Since I love Autumn so much, though, I need to slow it down a little and enjoy the weather. I'll wish I had come winter.

Anyway, today is the first day I'm getting out of my apartment to do something fun. I'm going up the block to see Paris, a movie that just started airing in the US. It's described as a "love letter to Paris," and I pretty much love any movie described as such. Plus, it stars the woman who played Shoshanna in Inglourious Basterds, and Roman Duris, who is a French actor who starred in Dans Paris, which I've been dying to see. Louis Garrell actually starred in the movie The Dreamers, which was an obsession in high school. It's rated NC-17, and since I was 16 when it came out, my mom would have to rent it for me.

Anyway, that's my plan for today. I need to stop and get a copy of this book "The Ayatollah Begs to Differ" while I'm out and about, as well. I will probably be home early, so I could finish cleaning, but I might put it off until tomorrow. We'll see.

So this weekend was the last weekend Ben and I had together before he leaves for California. It was also the weekend of Steve and Lisa's wedding!! It was a gorgeous ceremony out at the Red Covered Bridge, followed by a really fun reception over in LaMoille. It was so great having so many people in town, and getting to meet Ben's friend, Pat, who I had heard so much about but never actually met. Plus, his girlfriend is super sweet, so that's a plus, too! But it was a really fun weekend spent with some of my favorite people, even though I ended up with the bouquet. A very pushy ten year old made a power grab for it, then promptly shoved it at me before walking away. So, ya know, thanks for making my plans for me, random child.

But it was kind of weird at the same time. It felt like any other weekend Ben and I had spent together during the summer. We were so busy with random wedding related things that we hardly had time to stop and notice that this was it until the morning after the wedding. Well, I had started growing concerned the night before, but SOMEONE (we won't name names) had a few too many shots at the PI and promptly passed out, hogging all the pillow and bed.

The day after the wedding we all went over for brunch at Steve's parents, which was really nice. It was good getting to say good bye to everyone properly, rather than those quick good byes at the bar. And plus, the food was wonderful. Pretty sure I just want to kidnap Steve's parents. They are awesome. But when we left, it was down to the last hour before I had to catch my train. Ben stayed at the station with me, of course, and I'm glad he did, cause the train was an hour late. It was nice having time to just sit and catch our breath, while keeping in mind it was our last hour or so before we would go our seperate ways for quite a while.

I'm not scared or anything, because we do fine with long distance. But I've loved having him so close this whole summer, and knowing he's going to be SO far away is going to be hard. But, it'll go by fast! Before I know it, I'll be done with school and we'll have a solid plan. Maybe I should call that ten year old from the wedding and ask her what we should do. . .

L'Ecole et Moi: Une Histoire d'Amour

So I guess considering that I spent nearly 24 hours on campus in the past three days, it shouldn't surprise me that I'm so bombed out and depleted today. Yup, all day Wednesday and Thursday, followed by half the day yesterday spent on campus doing homework. This year is already kicking my ass, and I've only gotten one meeting for each class in yet!

But, I love my classes. I was telling Ben that, while I had to buy a HUGE quantity of books (five for one classs) it didn't really bother me cause they all seem like books I would read on my own. Maybe I wouldn't have gotten four different books with the same title (The Origins of WWII) but Engaging the Muslim World is one you would find on my bookshelves. Now that I'm in my major classes, and in classes I really enjoy, I don't mind doubling my personal library for school.

The one thing that blows is my homework load. Yup, should have seen that coming from a six class schedule. Poli Sci is a really heavy reading major, and most teachers don't have a lot of day to day assignments. Most are based on the Midterm, Final, and Term Paper model, with no other grades going in. Tough, but whatever.

All in all, school year has started out good. Tough, but good.

Summer '09

Suddenly, my short break is halfway over. It went by so fast, and I can't believe I go back to school a week from Wednesday. It's been pretty busy so far, but I think this next week is going to be far more chill.

Ben and I went to California last week, and spent Monday-Friday out there. Flew into Las Vegas, where we stayed the night, before heading to Ridgecrest to find Ben an apartment. Let me say it -- I HATE LAS VEGAS. So gawdy and icky. And plus, that place has super negative energy. I don't like the idea of a place that thrives on other people's weaknesses. But Ridgecrest was cool, and a lot of fun. We stayed at Steve and Lisa's, which was great since we don't get to see them very often. It was a pretty lowkey trip, or at least felt like it was, even though we were zipping around town looking at properties up until the last minute. Ben found one and got approved for it, and is moving in about a month. It's a really nice place, and I'm super pumped for him.

Today we went into Chicago for my second interview at the Chicago Council. I was recommended for it after my first internship didn't work out due to scheduling conflicts. And turns out, this one was the same story. But they said that if I have afternoons free this winter, to give them a call and re-apply, because I seem like a great candidate. So, I guess I can't be too upset, since they did like me, but it still sucks that I didn't get the position. It seems like an awesome place to work.

This week, I'm just hanging around. Ben and I are going to a wedding this Saturday, and Sunday is his graduation/job party. Then on Monday, it's back to the city to get ready for classes on Wednesday. Only ten months left until graduation!!!

"Bottle of scotch, a dime-bag, and a diamond watch."

Let me say this: I hate Country music. Taylor Swift, Keith Urban, all that shit. I can't stomach it one bit. It just packages everything simple and unworthwhile about American culture and delivers it over a VERY predictable and mediocre guitar riff. No, thank you.

But Bluegrass on the other hand. I love Bluegrass. In the past few years, I've gravitated way more to bluegrass than any other genre of music, even veering away from the Indie-Alternative scene I was pretty into for most of my life. And thankfully, it's seen a resurgence these days. Bands like Old Crow Medicine Show, who I am obsessed with, are highly accessible, which is wonderful. Lolla featured a stage that was nearly totally dedicated to Bluegrass music this year, and where we invariably ended up.

I've always speculated that I would like to live in the South, because of my love for Bluegrass music and the culture it manages to capture (albeit a culture that is nearly dead.) But lately I've decided it's probably not the South, but more like Appalachia that I dig. That sense of Americana is what I'm really into -- whiskey drinking, hard working, optimistic desperation. I love that! I even love the God they sing about, because they aren't singing to the Lord on Sunday. They are calling out from the bottom of the barrel for salvation.

Yesterday, I discovered The Felice Brothers, and have been listening to them non-stop. I love the singer's voice -- it sounds so old! And in searching for similar bands, I stumbled on the term "hipbilly" which is basically a cross of hillbilly and hipster. Well, consider this hipster a convert. I fly my hipbilly flag with pride!

Months Away, But Still

This will be the first time in multiple years that I dress up for Halloween. It's sad. I know. I'm going to a Halloween party, and I can't go as Audrey Hepburn like I did last year, considering my costume was literally an outfit I wear regularly (black ankle-length pants and a black turtleneck -- I know, I'm cool.) So, this year I get to put in some real effort, which is great! Halloween has always been my favorite holiday, and I'm excited for the impending celebration.

But the question is: What should I dress up as? I've had a few ideas, but I'm having a hard time deciding. My first thought was Joan Holloway, from the show Mad Men, because there is no one more fabulous than Joanie. I had thought about going as Betty Draper, Don's beautiful yet tortured wife, but I'm thinking that would be less fun than being Joan. I had thought about going as a pin up girl, but I'd rather go as a character. It'd be more fun. Sookie Stackhouse is a top contender, primarily because I'd love to buy one of those Merlotte's t-shirts they sell on HBO.com. Jackie Kennedy would be neat, too, seeing as how I'm madly in love with Jack.

Any ideas? I could most certainly use some help!

"The War Has Begun, You Evil Whore of Satan."

You know, for how much I love True Blood, I dread the end of every episode. Why? Because it is one hour closer to the end of the season. And this season has, so far, been amazing. I literally watch every episode on the edge of my seat, and always find myself "What the hell"-ing when it's over.

I've never been really into the whole super natural TV/movie thing. I mean, I've always been pretty morbid, and as a kid spent a lot of time watching classic old horror movies (like Bela Lugosi style.) The classic monsters are the ones I'm down with, like Dracula and Frankenstein, primarily because they are amazing books. But any recent vampire and monster driven show were just too corny. So when I started watching True Blood, I was actually embarrassed to admit that I was a fan of a vampire show.

What made the first season different for me was the political edge it had. It literally dropped vampires into a very real world, where they were fighting for their civil rights. And setting it in the deep south was genius. That's what brought me in, but the show is so well written (and manages to avoid so many cheesy cliches, if by no other means than good acting) that I've only missed the airing of one episode since it premiered.

But the second season is totally different. Things are a million times darker than first season, but it's not the vampires who are evil this time. It's exploring these dark corners of humanity, with the indisputably evil Fellowship of the Sun, lead by Reverend Steve Newlin. This season, it's the vampires who are showing the most compassion, even as they are being hunted by right-wing extremist militia style groups. And let's face it, the violent reaction Steve Newlin is fueling is a pretty accurate depiction of what that portion of the population would do. Hell, put a black man in the White House and they start training "soldiers" to "retake our country" from the "Socialist" trying to hijack it. I'm sure if vampires popped up, Fox News would be handing training pamphlets on how to wield a wooden stake.

But it's interesting, in this fictionalized situation, to see the limits of humanity being pushed. How far can humans go before they have crossed the line? And what makes you human? Surely Steve Newlin, who holds people hostage in his basement and attempts to start "wars," isn't more human than Godric, the vampire who refuses to spill unnecessary blood.

And plus, WHAT THE FUCK IS THE DEAL WITH MARYANNE?! She's seriously bizarre, and scary, and Tara and Eggs were coo-coo for eating a BLEEDING souffle. At least Lafayette is still his sassy, sexy self...

Might As Well Cancel Your Plans For Sunday

Because anyone who knows anything will be watching the Season 3 premiere of Mad Men on AMC. In case you've been living in a cave for the past few years and haven't heard of Mad Men (a surprisingly high number of people haven't) then you have no idea what you're missing. The show is centered around the Manhattan ad agency Sterling Cooper in the early 1960's. It follows the ups and downs of the lives of the executives working there, particularly Don Draper, a junior partner in the company. Don, who isn't exacly everything he seems to be, lives the quinnessential male existence of the time -- drinking heavily, smoking constantly, and sleeping around with some of the most gorgeous women in New York City.

But what makes the show amazing is all the darkness. It's not so much what the characters do, be it cheating on their wives or drinking themselves into oblivion, but those moments when they are left alone with their demons. I've seen it all over the place that silence is the most telling part of the show, because that's when you can see the most about the characters. That time in American history is so often portrayed as perfect, suburbian and idyllic, but watching Mad Men is like peeling back the layers and seeing what was underneath all that. It's like peeking in on a perfect family and seeing their rough edges.

And it doesn't hurt that the cast is amazing, the writing is phenomenal, the costumes are killer, and that Don Draper is a total, tortured stud, and the fact that he lies, drinks, smokes, and cheats somehow doesn't make him any less appealing. And THAT is something in and of itself.

Yup, I'm Occasionally "That Girl."

You know the one. The one who is sitting by herself at the restaurant, reading/people watching. The one who sits in the middle of the movie theater, alone, nibbling popcorn. The one who you see around town, by herself, walking home or to the store or wherever else. Either way, I'm a big fan of going on dates with myself. And today, I intend on doing just that. After cleaning up the apartment after the weekend of festitude, I'm gonna spend the hottest time of the day in the cool movie theater up the street. The only thing is I can't decide what movie to go see.

It's been a good summer for movies. From Away We Go to Whatever Works, it seems like there were just a lot of good movies coming out. Right now, there are three playing that I want to see: Adam, Paper Heart, and In The Loop. They are all starting at around the same time, so I might just do what I did when I saw Che and decide when I get there.

There are a few other movies out right now that I really wanna see, but aren't playing at Landmark, including: Funny People (because I got mad love for Judd Apatow) and Hump Day (The Duplass Bros are awesome!) Plus, before I know it, it'll be time for The Fantastic Mr. Fox and Where The Wild Things Are. Gotta love good movies.

"Yes, Snoop Dogg, I do love and miss Tupac."

Well, this was the second year I went to Lollapalooza, and the first year I went for all three days. Last year, Kim and I went up for the third day to see Mark Ronson's set, and ended up catching G. Love, Gnarls Barkley, Mark Ronson, Blues Traveler, and Kanye West while we were at it, along with a few other random bands on the side stages. After the bomb-ass experience of going for one day, it was obvious we would have to go for all three this year. Kim wasn't able to make it up for all three days, but Ben and I went, and it was awesome!

The first day was rainy and nasty out. We went down there and spent like 5 hours in the rain, in shorts (and me in my bikini top and a sheer button down shirt.) We caught a few bands, including Manchester Orchestra, Heartless Bastards, and STS9, before deciding to peace out for the day. Sadly, this meant me missing The Decemberists and Ben missing Depeche Mode, but with it only being the first day, we figured the next two days would make up for it.

And oh boy, did they ever! Day 2 was sunny and hot, as Lolla should be. We got there in time to catch the very end of the Delta Spirit set (who are amazing by the way) and that set the tone for the whole day. We spent most of the time sitting over by the BMI stage (one of the smaller ones) in the shade, watching the bluegrass-y bands play. Langhorne Slim was probably my favorite -- totally amazing. We stuck around for the Joe Pug and Blind Pilot shows, which meant missing Perry Farrell's DJ set, but that's alright. We went to the other end of the park to watch Glasvegas (not impressed) before heading back the other way to check out Ben Harper and Relentless7. For the headliner that night, we went over the Perry's (where the DJ's were) and caught the end of Diplo's set, which was great, and watched the beginning of Bassnectar. Once people got really effing weird (we were kinda close to the front) we went and stood in the back during Yeah Yeah Yeahs for about half an hour.

Yesterday, though, was fucking awesome. Kim came up in the morning and we all got there at like two o'clock. A little late, but it was so hot and humid, I'm glad we weren't there all day. We hung around the BMI stage again and watched The Greencards (intense fiddling!) before heading over to get into the crowd for The Raveonettes. We caught some of Kaiser Chiefs from where we were, and I really am not a fan. But I did get to hear "Oh My God," which is one of the songs Mark Ronson did on his album Version. That was neat. But we stuck around and heard The Raveonettes for like half an hour, then beebopped over to the other end of the park to catch the last part of Dan Deacon's set. The crowd was SO intense, and it smelled horrible. But it was really a dank set. He had a whole marching band on stage with him! After he was done, we shot down to the front of that stage because after Vampire Weekend performed across the field, Cold War Kids were playing, and I had to be down front for that. We ended up like two or three rows back, which was amazing. We could see Vampire Weekend from where we were, so while I wish I had been closer, for the sake of Cold War, it was worth it. After Cold War's AWESOME set, we went across the field and stayed in the back during Snoop Dogg's performance, which was really great. It was a lot of fun dancing like an idiot. Then, after catching a little of MSTRKRFT's set, we decided to take off and get showered up, cause we were SO effing disgusting.

But it was worth the dirt.

And It's On Michigan Avenue!!!

Well, I have exciting news! Tomorrow at 2, I have an interview at the Chicago Council on Global Affairs for an internship this fall!! I had applied a while back after reading about them in Foreign Policy magazine (yeah, I'm a subscriber? So what?) But I had never heard anything, so I figured they weren't impressed with my hastily put together resume. Turns out I was wrong! Yesterday I got a call, during which I was preliminarily interviewed (totally caught off guard) and asked if I'd be interested in an internship. I said, "Of course!" and now I have a hiring interview tomorrow afternoon. The position is in the membership department, which isn't exactly what I saw myself doing, but any chance to work there is such an awesome opportunity. It's an organization that cares some serious weight in the Foreign Policy world, and having it on my resume will be amazing! And biggest perk is the chance to work events, where I can network and meet all kinds of awesome people within the policy world. Talk about amazing! I'm so excited, but super nervous. I've never had a real interview before, besides the one with The Fund, but that doesn't count. If I get the position, I'll be working 15 (minimum) hours a week, plus my 20 credit hours at school. But any fatigue will so be worth it!

Do They Even Exist Anymore?

Well, I've spent the last two days doing nothing but thinking. And occasionally watching HBO and MTV, of course. But primarily, I've strictly been thinking. It's been a rough couple of days. A lot of taking stock of things and sorting out my brain. And I think I've come to a very important conclusion, or realization, or whatever you want to call it. I've spent the past year so caught up in trying to impress Ben and win over his family, that I completely forgot about being impressed and won over myself. From the first day we hung out, I was on a mission to put my best face forward and be the kind of girl I thought Ben would want to be with. In doing so, I neglected anything I would want in a guy. I'm not saying he's mediocre in any way, but I had a vision of who would be a good match for me, just like anyone else does.

I guess, in an ideal world, I'd have a partner who is timeless. Classic, sharp, but not in an overdone kind of way. It would have to come naturally. Someone with the kind of wit, cleverness, and cunning to get into back rooms of important places, and the daring to try no matter what. Someone who doesn't just know facts about events, but somehow finds himself involved in one way or another -- the kind of guy who ends up with a wounded arm from an ill timed trip to Africa. Someone with grace under pressure, who doesn't get caught up on trivialities. Someone who sees home as base, but not final destination. Someone who says fascinating things, but still knows that he himself is only a small part of a bigger puzzle. Someone who would, at a cocktail party in Berlin, say something like, "Honestly, I haven't the slightest idea how I got here." Someone who would throw a dart at a spinning globe and go where it lands, and while there waste no time on tourism, but immediately find a local watering hole and get buddy buddy with some locals.

I suppose you could say I always saw myself with the rogue-ish character in any given Evelyn Waugh book. Like Basil Seal, who works for Intelligence during WWII, but only for the sake of a uniform to wear. The sort who will go on a bender, wake up in Istanbul, and say, "Well, this bathtub is certainly in need of some extra padding." Then on to the next adventure. . .

WWAD?

And so, one week from tomorrow I turn 21. Yup, the big 2-1. Entering the next big phase of my life. Year 21 will be the year I graduate college, might be the year I finally move to Paris, and could be the year I actually go out on the weekends. But one thing is for sure: while I have been spending a lot of time looking back over the past 21 years, it's an important time to also look forward. It's a definitive chance to start clean, make some changes. And with that notion in mind, I've decided on my new life motto.

What Would Audrey Do?

I've always seen myself less as what I really am, and more as what I have potential to become. And Audrey Hepburn embodies a lot of those things I wish I was, primarily the whole casual glamourous charm. Sure, Audrey would never have gotten six tattoos and a Monroe, but she was fun, beautiful, confident, yet still humble, caring, and compassionate. What's more, Audrey knew how to draw the line. She didn't belong to anyone, or owe anyone anything. She was her own entity, free to function as she wished.

So, as I awkwardly bumble into adult life, there is no better role model, than Audrey. And I'll be trying to keep that in mind as I go to the bars for the first time.

Back To Plan A

So, I've started kicking around the grad school idea again. What it comes down to is, if I am able to get some killer grants to help with the cost, then it's definitely what I want to do. There are a lot of programs out there for students doing grad school overseas, and if I could hook into those, I'd be good to go. Yesterday I started looking at the reality of living over there, like if I could work and what kind of apartment I'd be looking for, and while it's not glamorous by any stretch, it's enough to make me want to book the first flight over.

I've always looked at apartments in Paris every few months, just to see what's available. So, I have a pretty good idea of what you can get in what neighborhood. I found a few apartments yesterday that would be do-able (some more high on the rent scale, but whatcha gonna do?) Here are a few of them: 75006, 75002, 75006, 75006, 75001. Those are the zip codes for the apartments, with the last number of each corresponding to the district. Ideally, I would find something in the 5-7 district, as that is closest to school. I found one apartment that was right down the street from campus, but I couldn't remember what site it was on. Anyway, I guess my dream apartment would be the 75001. It's in the very heart of Paris, a few blocks from the Louvre. Plus, I like the layout. I know I could get more room for my euro if I went out more from the heart of the city (districts circle out from the 1st district) but I feel like the money is worth it to be in the heart of things.

Depending on when I get out of school and when I start up at AUP, I'm thinking about doing a summer internship. I've found a few paid summer programs, including one at the Institute for Foreign Policy Analysis that requires you be enrolled in an MA program. It would be nice having some income to save up over the summer, and plus it would be solid work experience. Once I'm over there, I could start tutoring in English, or see what kind of stuff AUP can help me find. Either way, I do not intend on not working in Paris. Especially with the US dollar being worth crap, I'd like to have income in euros, rather than having loans that need to be converted. Anything to take the edge off living expenses would be great, even though I don't see it being as much over there. Theoretically, I won't be at home as much as I am now. Paris and I get along better than Chicago and I, and I just can't see myself spending days on end in my apartment.

But, we'll see what happens!

Update: Life Doesn't Suck

Well, I feel better now. Spent yesterday being alternatingly upset and super pissed, but managed not to throw my cell phone, so I'd call it a success. Hung around the house with my mom all day, which was a lot of fun, and went to the fireworks with a group of people, including Ben and Kim, later on. Afterwards, Ben, Josh, and I went over to Anson's, where Ben and I finally got to sit down and talk. Once I had everything off my chest, I felt a lot better, and definitely feel like Ben understands where I'm coming from. So, that's cool.

After going to the hospital on Saturday night and receiving no answers as to the pains I've been having, I oddly enough feel a little better. I guess I'm just not freaking out about it as much. The pain is still there, but I have other things to think about. I have an appointment tomorrow morning to go and hopefully figure out what's wrong, meaning I don't have to go back to Chicago for two more days! Very, very exciting.

But, all in all, the weekend pulled through at the last minute. And while it wasn't a whole lot of fun, it will always be an experience we can look back on: "Remember that one 4th of July you had to go to the emergency room?"

Well, That 4th of July Sucked.

The past few summers have been very informative. It seems like each time, I've learned something different. Summer '07 was when I moved home from Chicago, and was all about reconnecting with old friends. Summer '08 taught me that the people you knew back in high school aren't necessarily the same now, and that it's pretty obvious who you can actually depend on. So far, summer '09 has been kinda weird. This is the first time I'm in summer school and not living at home, which has thrown me for a loop. But this summer is shaping up to be just as eye-opening as the past few. I'm seeing a lot now that I couldn't, or didn't want to, last summer. And I'm learning that the people who make you a priority are the ones worth putting at the top of your list.

I always say that I have great people in my life, and I mean that. The people who have been in my life for the past year or so are awesome friends, and I'm lucky to have them. But in my immediate circle of friends, it feels like I spend more time trying to explain away their behavior than I do actually hanging out with them. I've always been quick to make excuses for people when they upset me, giving them the benefit of the doubt. But the more I think about it, the more obvious it is that, for a few people, I'm someone they can put on a backburner, even when I've just gotten out of the emergency room.

I'm not looking for grand, sweeping gestures. I don't need to outrank everyone all the time. But at least making me feel like I'm being considered would go such a long way. And I mean actually considered, not just doing so in order to avoid a fight or make yourself look good. If there is one thing I hate in people, it's inauthenticity. I'm lucky enough to have a best friend that I know cares enough about me to, when I need her, cancel her 4th of July plans to sit in a hospital with me, then drive around while I vent. That means a whole lot to me, and I would do the same for her in a heartbeat. There are a few people I would do that for, but I guess the question is whether or not they would do that for me.

I <3 Photography

One of my random obsessions is photography. I can't take pictures, but I totally love them. So, I figured I would share some of my favorite spreads, including one that I have yet to see, but know is going to be awesome:

1) Vanity Fair's "Ain't We Got Fun" is appearing in their August issue. The photo shoots Vanity Fair run are always phenomenal, but this one in particular looks cool. Combine some of my favorite actors with the classic age of cinema, and you can't go wrong.

2) Fallen Princesses by Dina Goldstein is a great set that poses the question, "What happened when the fairy tale ends?" Jasmine might be my favorite, but Cinderella is pretty heartbreaking.

3) Domestic Bliss ran in W Magazine during the Angelina-Brad controversy. These pictures are totally gorgeous, but have something very dark just below the surface. That kind of lingering, secret pain is something I'm drawn to in pictures.

4) Don't Shoot the DJ was the first time I ever saw Mark Ronson, and ran right around the time I discovered his album Version. Little to say, it was love at first sight, particularly seeing as how first sight was a spread in GQ based on Jean-Luc Godard's vision of Paris.

As a few people out there know, I'm currently wrapping up this book I'm reading. It's an anthology of writings by Gandhi, kinda like little snippets from various publications that have been put together to make a constant narrative explaining his life and work. And I'm completely fascinated by it, and by him. I mean, no one is indifferent to Gandhi. I've never met anyone who said, "Yeah, Gandhi, fuck that guy." But the depth and sincerity in what he preached is just astounding. And the rationality of it all! His arguments are so simplistic, and in that simplicity, they are completely beyond the grasp of everyday thinking. It's not until you stop and say, "Well, yeah, I guess that is actually how it works," do you really understand the amazing nature of this random Indian lawyer who literally lead a country by simply telling the truth.

I have a hard time trying to express to people the level of interest I have in politics. It's not just that I'm into it, because I don't just see politics as an ends unto itself. Politics, to me, is just the means by which the most good can be done for the most people. That's in a pure form, rather than the convoluted political system we have in the US, but in the most base sense, politics is just public service. And I guess that's why I don't understand when people say they aren't "interested" in politics, because to me, that's not being interested in life. Every political decision, no matter how basic, ends up having an effect on at least one life. There are no "strictly business" decisions in policy issues. It's always personal to someone, and so when people refuse to take any interest, it's turning your back on the world. Anyone who is that much of an isolationist just blows my little, liberal mind.

Huh, funny. Here it's only halfway through 2009 and I feel like it's already over! Weird how that happens when you basically have the next few months of your life totally planned out. Ugh. This is pretty much what things are looking like on my planner:

Summer classes: 2 every five weeks from now until August. I get my first set of midterms tomorrow, which is effing weird. Finals are the week after the Fourth of July.

Home this weekend and 4th of July. Also, home for birthday weekend (August1) so that I can officially get drunk in Bureau County. Though can't tell anyone at Fitzgerald's it's my birthday, since I go there quite often as it is.

Somewhere in there (between 4th of July and August) is a Ben visit (hopefully!) and a change in classes. Then, August 7-9 is Lollapalooza (high five, Angie!)

August 21st is the end of summer classes, and sometime soon after that I may or may not be going out to California, depending on when Ben moves out there.

Autumn classes start up after Labor Day (another 20 hour quarter), and run until Thanksgiving. Shove in a few weddings in September and Halloween. Saturday after Thanksgiving I leave for Kenya, and get back December 15th. Then it's X-mas, New Years, and suddenly my year is over.

Then it's all eyes on either grad school or getting a job. Today I'm leaning towards getting a job, but tomorrow it'll be all about grad school. We'll have to see how I feel in January, I guess. (Also, other blog will be featuring details about my on going job search, which started today with promising leads, and inner battle between grad school and work force.)

A Few Rational Moments

So, I do have a blog designated for political topics, but I didn't really want to put this one there because, well, it's not going to be as organized/harpish as my other posts. This might sound odd, but for all the press I've heard and all the tweets I've read, I still can't feel outright rage at the Iranian regime. I know, I'm sorry, but I can't. I've been trying to maintain a non-partisan outlook on the results of the election and subsequent fallout.

Maybe I've just read too many books about Iran. Maybe after the past few years of reading up about the theocracy, I want to give them the benefit of the doubt. It's not that I'm saying I think the results of the election were completely legitimate, but still. I have a few things I've been trying to keep in mind as I watch the news/read Mir Hossien Mousavi's tweets (mousavi1388 if anyone is interested in following.) They are as follows:

• In terms of the election results themselves, polling was close throughout the campaign, and especially so right before the election. Mousavi had the most strength in the cities (like Tehran) whereas Ahmadinejad was strong in the rural and poor areas (where he has focused his attention while president.) No one had a clear idea who was coming out on top. Mousavi is/was arguing that he had individuals monitoring polls, and he felt he got 2/3 of the vote. Meanwhile, the authorities ended up giving around 2/3 of the vote to Ahmadinejad.
  
• With that in mind, the idea of Ahmadinejad coming out on top isn't exactly crazy. I'm not sure if I buy that he was 11 million votes ahead, but any exaggeration may well have been aimed at avoiding a run-off election. To win the election without a run-off, a candidate must win over 50% of the vote (not easy with so many candidates.) Authorities claim he won 63% of the vote, which seems like a little too large a margin. But it's not entirely clear that Ahmadinejad didn't beat Mousavi by, say, a few points or so. This is the first election where it seems results were rigged (at least by such a huge margin.) Typically the most popular candidate (even if the Supreme Leader doesn't support him) has won the election.
  
• Which brings me to the rioting and protests. When you look at where the riots are taking place (cities, particularly Tehran) and where Mousavi had support (cities, like Tehran) it makes it all look a little different. These aren't protests across the country. These are protests in places Mousavi was supported the strongest. I haven't heard anything about protests in smaller towns. This election and the turmoil following it has drawn such a distinct line down the center of the country. But, since it is the capital where the protests are going on, that is the main focus of reporting.
• And the main focus within the focus has been the violence. The clashes with police and what have you. Yes, it's horrible and yes, it's wrong. But let's look at the response of the Supreme Leader and actually think this through. So, in the capital of the city there have been riots and protests for over a week. Little squirmishes with police here and there, and more pictures of burning cars than you can shake a stick at. After over a week of this, as things begin taking on a life of their own, Ayatollah Khamenei comes and says, "Seriously. This needs to stop. The election was legit, and if you don't start calming down, we're going to get serious about stopping this behavior." Then comes yesterday, with all eyes on Iran as the government delivers its promised crackdown.
  
• So, point one: The Supreme Leader let these protests continue for over a week. He kept assuring people that the election wasn't rigged, but for the most part let people do their thang. Had he wanted to, he could have arrested all opposition leaders and put the kabash on all protesting by force. But he didn't. Point two: What would the government of the United States have done had, following the disputed 2000 election, there been riots in the streets of Washington DC? Do you really think they would have been like "Oh, let the kids have their fun!" Yesterday the military in Iran was turning people away from protests, using tear gas and water cannons to quell the crowd. Do you really think our own government would have done something different?
• Speaking of which, are people really so stupid they think Obama should speak out against the election? Seriously, do you have any idea what kind of history we have with Iran? It's none of our government's business to get involved with what's going on. All Obama should say is, "We will respect whichever candidate is chosen by the people and leaders of Iran." Bam. Done. Anything else is just going to start problems, I guarantee it. Iran doesn't want "The Great Satan" involved.

That is basically what I've been trying to keep in mind while watching the news. Trying to keep a level head, while remembering the history between Iran and the US, as well as the electoral history of Iran. All in all, it is horrible that people are being killed over there, but I just can't get as angry as I thought I would be.

Truth be told, small things can bother me a lot. Off hand comments or slight changes in tone or random pictures can leave me thinking about nothing else for days, trying to figure out what it means. I don't like to think people don't like me for a concrete reason. It just bugs me. So, as I'm sure you can imagine, when the issue of my being "a little girl" was discussed this past week, it got my gears turning. It had actually come up several months ago, but it resurfaced while talking about fighting (better than fighting about talking. Harhar.) I wasn't mad this time, and Ben and I basically laughed it off. But the fact that someone would see me as "just a little girl" kinda bothers me. Kinda bothers me immensely, in fact. So, the past few days have been spent thinking about what in me would make someone describe me like that. What pieces of my personality formed that image, and what role do those pieces play in who I think I am.

My family has never treated me like a little girl. I've always been afforded privacy and independence, based on the assumption I could handle things on my own. And I always have. I keep my plates spinning (even if it's haphazardly) and, even though it bugs me, have been known to cave and ask for help when it's absolutely necessary. I've had a job on and off (mostly on) since my 16th birthday, and when I have income, pay my own bills. Now is an exception, but one of very few exceptions in my life. I'm not afraid of hard work, and haven't spent my life sheltered from it. I've made my own decisions in life, and while some of them haven't been that great, I've done the best I can in dealing with the consequences. I've gone with my gut more than once, and it's always landed me where I should be, even if it's in a round-about way. When I first started hanging with Ben, I'll admit I probably seemed like a bleak case. 19-year-old junior college student with multiple tattoos working for minimum wage at a local coffeeshop. Yeah. That's great. But I've moved forward since then. In a matter of months, I've managed to work my way up to 20-year-old Depaul soon-to-be graduate with multiple tattoos, A-B average, and a life plan.

And what about my life plan? I feel like I'm a fairly knowledgable person, especially for a mostly self taught 20 year old from fucking Bureau County. I had a boyfriend once point out that I have this way of getting fixated with something, and learning everything I can about it before moving on to something else. The Beat Generation, Marxist philosophy, Sherlock Holmes, Ancient Egypt. Now, the Kennedy brother's and Middle Eastern politics. I'm no expert by any means, but I feel like my grasp on a whole variety of topics is pretty solid. When I say I want to work in Foreign Policy, it's not just for shits and giggles. Foreign Policy is my hobby. And while I don't have a degree yet, I don't think that means I don't know what I'm talking about.

Sure, I'm giggly and smiley. I like to dance around in parking lots and watch Flight of the Conchords. But I don't think that makes me a little girl. It hasn't been that easy to keep up my generally happy, curious, optimistic outlook on life, especially in keeping up with current events. It would be easy to become a pessimistic, more "grown up" kinda person, but that's not what I want to do. I want to keep loving people. I want to keep having fun. I want to keep cracking inappropriate jokes and describing Foreign Policy in my own, casual words. I want to keep planning my own reality, not one subject to the various sociatel standards others have subscribed to. And so what if that does make me a "little girl?" I'd rather stay happy my whole life than worry about being acceptable.

Busted Out My Green

So, I'm sure everyone who would ever look at this has already read everything released regarding the recent Iranian elections. Right? Haha. Well, I've been keeping up on it, and as I'm sure anyone who knows me could tell you, I'm a little upset by it. I don't like hearing about riots in Tehran. I don't like reports of student protesters being shot. I'm not going to dedicate this whole post to talking about what's going on over there, but I did tie a green ribbon onto my bookbag. It's an Arbor Day ribbon, but it's all I had, and I really wanted to do something. Green is the campaign color for Mir Hussein Mousavi, the one who, chances are, had the election stolen from him. The race was tight, though, so it's hard to say exactly who came out on top, but this "landslide victory" shit just ain't flying. I think Ahmadinejad's re-election has less to do, though, with Israel and what not, as I've heard people say, and more to do with the resurgence of the Reform movement in Iran. In the 90's, Khatami won as a Reformist, and the clerics had to fight to keep him from getting too many reforms passed and to keep the party from becoming a threat to Ayatollah Khamenei's power. I think re-electing Ahmadinejad is more reactionary to that than anything else. As far as where things will go from here, it's hard to say until the election hubbub is completely set straight.

Anywho, what else? Ben came up for a week, just left today. Oh, if you haven't gone to see Away We Go yet, definitely go see it. It's one of those really sweet movies that still manages to be totally realistic. Burt drives Verona crazy (one scene particularly cracked me up, as Ben too has a "Casey Casum" persona a lot like Burt's) and he doesn't totally get her all the time, and they are just completely great together. It's really, really a great movie -- equal parts touching and hilarious. So, stop reading this and go see that.

So, like most students on the brink of adult life, I daydream on occasion about what my career and life will be like. And honestly, if my life is half as cool as my daydreams are, I'm stoked. Being the mega-nerd I am, I spend most of my time daydreaming about my job . . . or, well, the job I hope I end up having at some point in my life. You know, the kind of job where you, as I told Ben, "Spend a few days in Bahrain before jetting over for a meeting with some Indian leaders." That kinda job.

But, in my daydreams, I feel it's necessary to point out that I am highly inappropriate. Yes, in my fantasy world, I still don't know when to use nuanced language. Imaginary me says things like, "China! What the hell! You need to go in there and make the UN your bitch!" I'm like the rogue outlaw of diplomacy in these scenarios. And it is awesome. Who wouldn't love to be in a position to say things like, "Suck it, Netanyahu. We're cutting your aid."

Today, though, I managed to top myself. I was so shocked by what came flying across my brain that I had to stop for a minute and admit that, yes, I am a badass. In my daydream, I apparently was able to get a meeting with former Iranian president and Minister of Awesome, Khatami. We were discussing options regarding opening up diplomatic doors between the US and Iran. Just having a chance like that would be amazing. And I'm not sure what illiceted this response from me -- what Khatami could have said that would make this okay -- but I said, "Khatami . . . Yer bustin' my balls." Very sincerely, but I told the former president of Iran he was busting my balls.

Sometimes I amaze me.

While feeling down yesterday, I cleaned my whole apartment. That's right -- the whole thing. Even scrubbed the floors. Intense, I know, but I got started and it was making me feel better, so I kept moving. While I was cleaning, though, I got bit by that "Make your apartment look nicer" bug, and have become re-dedicated to making the place a little classier. There isn't a whole lot I can do, since it's just a studio, but I made a "wishlist" of all the things I need. I figure within those random things I need for functional reasons, I can work in some form as well. Said list goes like this:

• Dresser for blankets.
• Shelves X 1,000,000.
• Chair for desk.
• Table for next to door/hiding wires.
• Corkboard.

I plan on exploring some of the resale shops around here tomorrow for a chair. Should be able to find one that's not too expensive, since I just want like a normal dining room chair. I figure any extra whatever I can add to it later on. There is a dresser I like at Ikea, but it's like $200 and there is no Ikea near me. But if that's the only thing I'm really planning on splurging on, I don't feel so bad. So next time I have extra monies and someone with a car, it's all about that dresser. Corkboard I can get pretty much anywhere, so that'll be easy, and shelving isn't too hard to come by, either. A table to fit that little space I have might be tricky, but I'll just keep an eye out, I guess.

There are a few crafty projects I wanna try doing too. I'm not the most artsy person in the world, but I think if I keep it simple, it could work. I got this ice cream -- Sheer Bliss, which is totally fantastic -- that comes in a tin can. It's a pretty good size can, since it's a pint of ice cream, and I'm thinking about covering it in fabric and trying to get herbs growing in it. I've wanted to do an herb garden for years, but now that I'm in an apartment, it's tricky. So, we'll see how that works. I'm also kicking around ideas to liven up my blank walls. I have posters up, but the all white is still pretty ick. Plus, my kitchen is not all that great either, but I'm not sure what I can do with that yet.

Note to self: Stop fucking daydreaming. It only results in getting let down and throwing my phone across the apartment. And the worst part is I have no one to blame but myself for these random ideas of what any given experience will be like, only for it all to go horribly awry.

Is this fucking summer over yet?

I'm being a neglectful blogger lately. I have, however, been pretty busy with non-cyber life related things, like finishing up the quarter. That's right -- today was my last day of actual class. Next week I have two finals on Tuesday, and I am finished completely with Spring quarter. Can't believe my first quarter back at Depaul is over already. Went by super, super fast. But I'm pretty sure I did really well -- better than I ever did at IV, so that's a big time thumbs up. Got a little hectic in the past few weeks, just with graduations and what have you, but I'm at the finish line, and it feels pretty damn good.

With summer looming, I wish I had more exciting stuff planned. I have classes all summer, and hopefully Ben will be around, but until Lollapalooza, I've got nothing major going on at all. Just focusing on getting through my four summer classes and getting into Fall Quarter.

Exciting news that I never shared: I am officially going to Kenya!! Yup, in December, I will be spending 15 days in Kenya. I can't believe it -- so excited to be going there. Honestly, Africa was never my first choice of place to visit, but I'm stoked to be diving in head first. Kind of worried, just because I've never experienced abject poverty before on a scale like we will in the slums, but I think the experience is going to be a good one.

Other exciting news: I found my dream grad school program. It's at AUP (of course) and it's a Masters in Middle Eastern and Islamic Studies and International Relations. Exactly what I want to go into, exactly what I want to study. Two year program. Perfect. I kind of talked to Ben about it when he was here a few days ago, and he said he'd "work with me" on it, but he doesn't sound too thrilled. But this would be a good chance for me to get all those regrets I've been carrying around about not going to AUP for undergrad off my shoulders. Plus, it's an awesome curriculum. I'm gonna keep looking around, keep all my options open, and see if there is a similar program somewhere else. But, in the meantime, that is the program my eye is on.

Ugh, life moves so fast.

Well, weekend home was busy but awesome (what else is new?) Got home on Friday before Ben, and went over to Kim's for a while. Sat around with her, Lisa, and Brad until Ben called to let me know he was back in BC, at which point I hunted some beef teriyaki before heading over to his house. We had some people over to my dad's, since Dad was out of town, but it was pretty chill since everyone was super tired.

Next morning, well, was kinda not okay. Before even getting into the shower (while in the bathroom, waiting for water to warm up as the room got all steamy) I basically felt like I was going to collapse. I was sweating bullets, shaking, couldn't see at all, and could hardly hear through the white noise ringing in my ears. It took quite a while for me to start feeling better, but once I did, I was fine for the rest of the day. Ben took my car and went over to his house, while I stayed at my dad's and chilled for a few minutes before getting ready to help Ben unload boxes. Did that, hung at his house, then after dinner went over to my mom's.

Next day, we all just puttered around Mom's until Michael's graduation. That's right, my brother graduated!!! Very exciting. The whole thing was like an hour long, which was great cause it was hot as hell in there! Well, I thought it was. Ben insists it wasn't that bad, but I was once again sweating bullets. We went back to Mom's for pizza, then went back into Princeton and hung at Ben's folks' house for the night. Passed out early, because we are epically lame.

Generally, it was a really fun weekend. I <3 home.

Epic Fail

Drinking instead of cleaning was not a good choice. I woke up today to my apartment still totally torn apart from when I stopped organizing last night. Since my bed had no sheets on it (stopped in the middle of changing those) I pulled out the couch and slept in front of the TV. Basically, anything I was going to get done last night came to a screeching halt. And now, I'm heading home for the weekend and have zero motivation to actually tidy the place up. The only thing I got accomplished was throwing away a bunch of back issues of Cosmo magazine, something I've been meaning to do for a while now. Talk about progress.

Anyway, I am heading home this weekend for (maybe) my brother's graduation. Today is the day we find out definitively if he graduates or not, and of course he could give a shit. Typical Michael. But I'm glad I got my train ticket instead of waiting to see if he's actually walking or not. And even if he doesn't graduate, going home is always at the top of my list of things to do. Haven't seen Kim in a few weeks, which is slowly draining me of life. Ben should get home not too much later, if not earlier, than me, assuming he got his packing done last night. Seeing as how the only time I talked to him was for 1 minute when I drunkenly called him, I would hope he had enough focus to get that shit done. But, we will see.

I feel like today is going to be annoying. Hope I'm wrong.